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Writing Samples
Band 7

The line graph illustrates three different kinds of crimes that occurred in Newport City center between 2003 and 2012.

The line graph illustrates three different kinds of crimes that occurred in Newport City center between 2003 and 2012.
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The line graph shows three distinct types of crimes that happened in Newport city
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 from 2003 to 2012
overall
Linking Words
, it was clear that only
robbery
Use synonyms
 faced a slight change as compared to other crimes.
To begin
Linking Words
, In 2003 the highest rate of crimes was done
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
which is Burglary 3500 and the lowest crime was done is
Robbery
Use synonyms
 500. After that Burglary kept on decreasing and in 2008 it was about 1200
incidents
Use synonyms
 but
Robbery
Use synonyms
 slightly increased in the
year
Use synonyms
 2005 to 800
incidents
Use synonyms
. The number of
incidents
Use synonyms
 of Burglary again started rising in 2009 which was about 1200 and
then
Linking Words
 showed fluctuation till the
last
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
 2012. In 2006 the number of
incidents
Use synonyms
 of
Robbery
Use synonyms
 showed a slight stability and in the latter,
year
Use synonyms
 it was about 600. Looking forward the number of
incidents
Use synonyms
 of car theft was 2600 in the initial
year
Use synonyms
 which shows a great fluctuation every
year
Use synonyms
 and in the
last
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
 it decreased to 2400.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words robbery, incidents, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 3 times.
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