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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #information #research #business #world
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First,
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I need to clarify that I completely agree that all the information should be shared with others. From my point of view, all
the
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scientific research must be clear and honest with all the evidence and experiments.
Initially
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, I would like to say that the world could not go
further
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 if any developments did not happen. And following that innovation, it would not be possible to hide knowledge from themselves. It may diminish the opportunity of improving and trusting scientists. It is worth bearing in mind that the main purpose of any research is to enlighten another scientist.
For instance
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, I am a veterinarian who trying to be the best of my version. I completed my internships overseas twice. Both of them were a fantastic opportunity for me and I learned numerous things from my tutors. If they could think selfishly and keep the valuable knowledge by themselves, I would not be here as a confident veterinarian today.
Besides
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 all those, it is essential that science must be for humanity, not for personal aims.
On the other hand
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, of course, there are prizes for those who are eminent in their field,
such
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 as the Nobel, but in the end, we only talk about the inventors who could change our globe.
In addition
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,
for example
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, Grahambel would keep the telephone by himself, maybe many things linked to it, like the internet, would not have been invented. All in all, it seems to me that, the main goal must be being a person who serves
for
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others.
Submitted by fatmanurdonertas on

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure the introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines your perspective, taking into account the two contrasting views.
complete response
Develop a balanced discussion by exploring both views before stating your own opinion.
logical structure
Connect ideas with a variety of cohesive devices and clear topic sentences for each paragraph.
supported main points
Expand and support main ideas with specific and relevant details or examples.
introduction conclusion present
Conclude the essay effectively by summarizing the main points and restating your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
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