IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that bicycles are an effective way to travel and bring many benefits to society. Others feel that bicycles create more problems than they solve. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #bicycles #travel #society
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The bicycle is considered an effective and efficient way to travel by some
people
while
 others believe that they are not a good form of transportation.
This
 essay will analyze both points of view and say why I believe that
bicycles
 are good for
people
 and
society
. There are two main reasons why some members of
society
 believe that
bicycles
 are beneficial. The first reason is that bikes allow
people
 to travel without having a negative impact on the environment.
This
 is because
bicycles
 do not use any fuel, they are powered by
people
 and as an added bonus help individuals to exercise and improve their health. Another reason for a positive attitude towards cycling is that it reduces traffic issues in large urban areas, The result is that cities which have more cyclists have less traffic congestion.
However
, there is a section of the community who thinks that
bicycles
 have no place in modern
society
. One major concern is that
bicycles
 slow down cars and other vehicles which can travel faster. An example of
this
 is the growing rage over cyclists blocking car lanes and wanting to be treated as equal to a motorized vehicle.
In addition
,
bicycles
 are seen as an outdated form of transport that has no place on modern roads. The result of
this
 way of thinking is that fewer
people
 cycle and more
people
 become afraid to cycle next to powerful motor vehicles.
To conclude
, being good for the environment and having minimal impact on traffic issues are two reasons why
people
 are in favour of increased bicycle use.
In contrast
, slowing down cars and not fitting into modern infrastructure are two arguments against using push-bikes. I feel that
bicycles
 bring more benefits to
society
 than drawbacks and should be used by more
people
.
Submitted by erkasiet2008 on

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coherence cohesion
Use transitional words or phrases more frequently to further enhance the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Include more specific examples or statistical data to strengthen arguments and clarify points.
task achievement
Consider addressing potential counterarguments in more depth for a more balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that successfully encapsulates the main points.
coherence cohesion
The main points are generally well supported and logically structured across the essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views as required by the task and provides a personal opinion, fulfilling the task achievement requirement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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