Today many people buy imported food, rather than consuming local products. Do advantages outweigh disadvantages?
Many individuals tend to consume more goods from foreign countries rather than the local ones.
While
there are
may be some benefits of Unnecessary verb
apply
obtain
Change the verb form
obtaining
the
overseas Correct article usage
apply
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
by
the consumers, I believe that the drawbacks of Change preposition
for
this
tendency are more significant.
Purchasing foreign commodities is extremely beneficial from the buyers’ point of view. They may get to experience great
extent of variety of Correct article usage
a great
products
which can give them the opportunity to choose
their desired selection. There is a likelihood that imported food may not even exist in a particular country, Verb problem
make
consequently
it would capture Add a comma
consequently,
the
enormous segment of Correct article usage
an
market
. Add an article
the market
However
, from the economic stance, it would demotivate the local farmers and producers to actively engaging
in food production and delivery to the market, Wrong verb form
engage
additionally
, there is a huge possibility that it would endanger the economic and food security of the state.
In my opinion, the negative sides of this
trend outweigh the positive ones. One of the major disadvantages is that when the population redirect its preferences towards international products
, it creates massive inflation among aforementioned items, as a result
, not only these products
and
Correct word choice
but
also
local’s
Change noun form
local
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
price
will changeFix the agreement mistake
prices
up
. Another negative side is the decoupling Change preposition
apply
domestic
farmers and producers from the desire Change preposition
of domestic
of
to be involved in trade relations. Change preposition
apply
Therefore
, their reluctance and hesitation would be encroached by
Change preposition
upon by
formed
Wrong verb form
forming
unprecedented
situation.
In conclusion, even though consuming Correct article usage
an unprecedented
the
international commodities can be plausible from the consumer standpoint, Correct article usage
apply
this
advantage is clearly overshadowed by two major disadvantages : the surge of prices in the whole market due to
buyers’ decision not to select the
domestic foods and the discouragement of farmers from producing local Correct article usage
apply
products
.Submitted by ealiyev13182 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear logical progression of ideas throughout the essay, using a variety of linking words and cohesive devices effectively to maintain coherence.
coherence cohesion
Introduce and conclude the topic with clear statements while ensuring they are expansive enough to encapsulate the essay's main points.
coherence cohesion
Support main points with sufficient development and illustration, potentially including more detailed examples to strengthen the argument.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task, offering a clear position that is relevant to the essay prompt throughout your response.
task achievement
Express ideas and concepts clearly with a measure of complexity appropriate to the task while avoiding overgeneralization or vague statements.
task achievement
Include relevant, specific examples to substantiate arguments, ensuring that examples are detailed and directly related to the points being made.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example