IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

In today’s world, private companies rather than the government pay for and conduct most scientific research. Do you think the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

#today’s #world #companies #government #conduct #research
At present, scientific
research
 across the world is carried out and controlled sometimes by governments, and sometimes by private companies.
While
 there are some arguments favouring scientific
research
 by corporations, I agree that
this
 should be funded and supervised by the state. The private sector argues that it is willing to undertake scientific
research
, but there are two significant dangers to
this
. In terms of the quality and objectivity of the
research
 itself, corporations that carry
this
 out may be tempted to manipulate results in order to maximize profits. There have been numerous scandals
as a result
 of new products being introduced hurriedly after inadequate trials.
For example
, thalidomide, developed by a German drug company, resulted in the birth of thousands of malformed children. From an ethical perspective, leaving
research
 into areas
such
 as genetic engineering in the hands of corporations may have profound social consequences -
such
 as GM crops, with unproven effects which may destroy whole ecosystems
as a result
 of meddling with nature.
Although
 governments have to allocate resources to many areas of public spending, it is essential that they be responsible for scientific
research
.
Firstly
, the highest standards can be set by providing funding for university departments to carry out high-quality
research
 designed to benefit society, not to break into new markets or gain a competitive edge. Knowledge
thus
 gained can be shared worldwide throughout the academic community.
Secondly
, government-decision making is the best way to prioritize expenditure on specific areas of
research
, taking into consideration the needs of society, both present and future. One example is the development of renewable energy to meet growing demands. In conclusion, I agree strongly with the view that governments should bear sole responsibility for scientific
research
.
Submitted by 2024successielts on

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that the introduction clearly outlines the purpose of the essay and the stance you are going to take. While your introduction is present, it could be clearer in stating your opinion.
logical structure
Work on creating a more natural flow between ideas and paragraphs by using a wider range of cohesive devices and transitional phrases.
supported main points
Support your main points with a wider variety of examples, data, or quotations to make them more persuasive and to demonstrate a broader range of language.
complete response
Ensure that the essay fully addresses all parts of the task, presenting a clear position throughout the response. While the response is quite complete, make sure to provide a more balanced discussion of the advantages and disadvantages before concluding.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are clear but could be expanded upon to show comprehensive thought and depth of analysis, such as discussing potential safeguards or regulations that could mitigate the issues associated with private research.
relevant specific examples
Use a variety of specific examples that are directly relevant to the topic to illustrate your points. The examples provided are somewhat generic and could be more detailed.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • groundbreaking technologies
  • efficiently allocate resources
  • innovative projects
  • strict timelines
  • profit motives
  • basic research
  • commercial application
  • corporate funding
  • biases in research
  • unbiased exploration
  • balanced exploration
  • public sector
  • private sector
  • synergy
  • comprehensive outcomes
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