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Writing Samples
Band 7

The diagram below shows some design principles for an energy-efficient house and how they work in different climates. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows some design principles for an energy-efficient house and how they work in different climates. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The diagram demonstrates the main features of a
house
Use synonyms
 to compare the functionality in warm
weather
Use synonyms
 and cold
weather
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are several similarities and differences between how the
house
Use synonyms
 function in opposing climates. As seen from the diagram, during cool climates, the walls of the
house
Use synonyms
 are covered with insulation to store
heat
Use synonyms
 within the
house
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
 of
this
Linking Words
, it allows customers to feel warm during cold
weather
Use synonyms
. The roof is
also
Linking Words
 built with thermal building materials to store the warmth inside the
house
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, during the warm
weather
Use synonyms
, the roof is expanded to create more shaded areas.
Along with
Linking Words
 the reflective roof material, insulations are reflected back to the outside environment, preventing additional
heat
Use synonyms
 from entering the
house
Use synonyms
. At night time, ventilations are used to remove stored
heat
Use synonyms
along with
Linking Words
 the opening of windows. Respectively,
heat
Use synonyms
 is able to leave the
house
Use synonyms
, allowing the customer to be surrounded by a cooler environment despite the warm climate.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "along with".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words house, weather, heat with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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