Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe that it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There are college
pupils
who learn other subjects
instead
of their main subjects
. While
others suppose that university students
should focus on their main subjects
to achieve good certificates is
more necessary. Change the verb form
are
Although
both views have their own benefits, I agree with the first statement. In this
essay, I will discuss both views from my perspective.
On the one hand, focusing on the main subjects
to achieve good qualifications has many points. Firstly
, it helps students
gain a deeper understanding and have deeper professional knowledge about their major and as a result
, they can have advanced studies and be successful in their careers. Secondly
, having strong certificates in their specific subjects
makes them more attractive candidates for specialized roles or advanced programs. In addition
, pupils
can achieve a good academic performance which creates opportunities to get scholarships or have a well-paid job after graduation. Moreover
, focusing on the main subjects
helps students
allocate their time effectively and reduce study pressure. For example
, they can maintain and control their study time and personal life.
On the other hand
, learning other subjects
besides
the main subjects
has many different benefits. Firstly
, exposure to multiple subjects
can help pupils
to gain overall
development and develop new social skills. Additionally
, learners can also
have various ways of thinking and problem-solving. Then
, enhanced student’s ability to approach issues from multiple perspectives. Secondly
, it helps pupils
have a broad knowledge base. Therefore
, helping learners easily adapt to different situations and working environments.Furthermore
, learning new subjects
helps students
discover new interests and hobbies, then
they can find their strengths and guide their careers. Finally
, having knowledge of many different subjects
helps them know about different cultures and historical contexts. Thereby, promoting empathy and raising global awareness.
In conclusion, both views have their own points. But I strongly agree that college students
should learn more subjects
besides
their main major subjects
. Consequently
, they can develop themselves and build their careers more easily.Submitted by ieltswritingpracticedl on
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task achievement
Try to strengthen your supporting points by adding more specific examples to substantiate your arguments. This will make your ideas more compelling and concrete.
task achievement
Work on enhancing the clarity of your ideas. Ensure that each sentence clearly conveys the intended message, reducing any ambiguity.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure by ensuring each paragraph flows seamlessly into the next. Use more transitional words and phrases to illustrate the relationships between ideas.
task achievement
You have provided a complete response to the essay prompt by addressing both perspectives and sharing your own opinion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay contains an introduction and conclusion, which give a clear sense of structure.
coherence cohesion
You have demonstrated a good logical structure with well-organized paragraphs that each focus on a single idea.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example