some people think that watching movie is a waste of time .do you agree or disagree ?

For decades,
movies
have
became
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become
show examples
common with more and more
people
around the world. Filmmakers
continously
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continuously
develop
movies
not only on technology but
also
on film genres in order to match and
suitable
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be suitable
show examples
to a wide range of audiences ages and hobbies.
While
many argue that watching
movies
is just a waste of
time
, I find that
movies
can be very helpful if we watch them with a proper amount of
time
and in the right ways.
Firstly
,
movies
are considered as a potential way to relax
of
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apply
show examples
human
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humans
show examples
.
This
is the reason why watching films is one of the most convenient and affordable entertainment. Thanks to the development of technology, nowadays
movies
can be
watch
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watched
show examples
by devices
such
as computers, tablets or mobile phones. After a long day
with
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of
show examples
work and study,
people
can release stress by watching their favourite films.
For instance
, comedy series
are
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is
show examples
a good example
wheb
Correct your spelling
when
they make audiences laugh and enjoy.
Secondly
,
movies
help to enhance
imagination
Correct article usage
the imagination
show examples
and knowledge of
human
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humans
show examples
. For the kids,
movies
such
as
cartoon
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cartoons
show examples
,
fairytale
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fairytales
show examples
and fantasy will allow them to learn a lot of things which are new to them. From there, they can imagine
about
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apply
show examples
the world around them strongly.
This
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
proven helpful as these types of
movies
are shown to children at school.
Besides
that, many
people
gain
their
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apply
show examples
knowledge about different aspects which they haven't experienced by watching
movies
about
traveling
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travelling
show examples
, history, politics
anf
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and
crimes.
Last
by not least,
movies
bring
people
closer. Many families like watching
movies
together as
this
makes family members have more
time
with each other, talk and share about common topics.
Besides
that, a lot of cinema groups are available for strangers to join
then
they can enjoy the same hobby and
to
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apply
show examples
become friends later. In conclusion, watching
movies
is not a waste of
time
since it is beneficial for any type of
people
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person
show examples
at any age.
Movies
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
people
to reduce pressures, to learn new things and to have more human interactions when they manage to enjoy
movies
with proper times and ways.
Submitted by thanhvan230688 on

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear position and attempts to support your ideas, but it lacks depth in the supporting examples provided. You have presented general points, but there's a need for more specific and detailed examples to illustrate your claims effectively. For example, instead of simply stating that movies are shown to children in school, providing a specific instance of educational content in a movie that contributed to the learning process could enhance the strength of your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay has some issues with structuring and connecting ideas fluently. Ideas are generally organized, however, transitions between points can be improved for better logical flow. Consider using a range of cohesive devices and ensure that the connection between sentences within a paragraph, and between paragraphs, is seamless. This can be done by starting each paragraph with a clear topic sentence, followed by supporting sentences that expand on that specific idea with clarity and then closing it with a sentence that neatly ties the paragraph back to the main topic.

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