Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A large number of people nowadays are eager to consume a considerable amount of food and drink
products
Use synonyms
which are prepared with huge quantities of
sugar
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, the government should set a higher price for those kinds of
products
Use synonyms
to encourage the population to eat and drink healthier. One evident benefit to having regulations for
aliments
Correct your spelling
ailments
show examples
is that it would reduce the rate of the population suffering from health problems.
In other words
Linking Words
, pupils will tend to spend less if the
products
Use synonyms
are much more expensive and
as a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
they can avoid health problems
such
Linking Words
as obesity or heart attack.
For instance
Linking Words
, some researchers have shown that in the US more than 40% of the population
suffer
Correct subject-verb agreement
suffers
show examples
from health problems because they prefer to purchase toxic and unhealthy
products
Use synonyms
which might be cheaper than health-giving food.
Secondly
Linking Words
, consuming
much
Rephrase
too much
show examples
sugar
Use synonyms
additionally
Linking Words
, it might have adverse effects on human productivity. Some studies state that
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
high level of
sugar
Use synonyms
can cause an addiction to the brain since
tongue
Correct article usage
the tongue
show examples
response
Replace the word
responds
show examples
to the brain which makes humans
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
eat repeatedly.
Thus
Linking Words
, if the percentage of
sugar
Use synonyms
in our body is enhanced, that can give a feeling of sleep.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, productivity is part of pupils’ daily routine, if we are not motivated we can not respect our
day to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
show examples
schedule. Taking all these aspects into account, it is reasonable to say that the physiological and psychological impacts are the underlying factors that incline the government to
soar
Verb problem
raise
show examples
the prices in order to encourage
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people to have a healthier diet.
Submitted by capibara11 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

language use
To improve your score, try to diversify your sentence structures and vocabulary to make your essay more engaging.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly to the next by using more transitional phrases.
task achievement
Consider adding a counter-argument paragraph to show a broader perspective on the topic.
introduction conclusion present
Strong and clear introduction that outlines the main argument.
logical structure
The essay has a logical structure and each main point is supported with relevant examples.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the points discussed and reinforces the main argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
What to do next:
Look at other essays: