Some people believe that professional athletes serve as positive role models for young people, while others argue that their behavior both on and off the field can have a negative influence. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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Some people argue that professional

athletes

Use synonyms

can influence young people as

a positive role models

Correct the article-noun agreement

a positive role model

positive role models

show examples

While

Linking Words

others believe that they have a negative influence both on and off the field.

However

Linking Words

, their

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

of being aggressive is harmful as a whole. In my opinion, They inspire younger individuals to pursue their dreams and passion

as well as

Linking Words

be ambitious about it. On the one hand, there are many

athletes

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who are aggressive and have been dragged down by drug abuse. Professional sportsmen have heavily influenced younger individuals for being violent which causes personal career problems later in

life

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For example

Linking Words

, A friend of mine who obsessively watched sports online had been diagnosed with anger management issues and was closely monitored his entire

life

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thus

Linking Words

affecting his work

life

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as well. All because of the impact the

athletes

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made by their frustration and aggressiveness.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, A significant amount of the younger generation was positively inspired by the

athletes

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and had excelled in their lives because of them. The sportsmen

had

Unnecessary verb

apply

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motivated various youngsters to chase their dreams and make a difference, Despite the challenges they faced.

For instance

Linking Words

, My younger brother had gotten his passion for football by watching the games played by the famous Messi player. He was fascinated at the fact that he became the world's best footballer provided that he met numerous obstacles along the way to his success. In conclusion, even though

athletes

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direct bad habits and harmful

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

to younger people. The big impression they make pays off entirely for all factors in

life

Use synonyms

amnahazfar03Sun Nov 19 2023

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task achievement

Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the scope of the essay, presenting a balanced view on both sides of the argument before stating your own stance.

coherence cohesion

Work to maintain a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay, making sure each paragraph has a clear central idea that is elaborated upon.

coherence cohesion

Develop your paragraphs fully by including both a topic sentence and supporting details. Make sure each paragraph consistently follows a single main idea.

task achievement

Illustrate your arguments with specific examples to strengthen your essay. You have made an effort to do this, but more varied examples could be included.

coherence cohesion

Work on clear and precise sentence structures to improve your essay's readability and effectiveness.

task achievement

Be cautious of overly simplistic sentences and ideas, and strive for a more in-depth analysis in your discussion.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion should succinctly summarize the main points discussed and restate your stance, reinforcing your argument.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

261 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

role model
determination
discipline
work ethic
community service
charitable activities
poor behavior
unsportsmanlike conduct
media scrutiny
public perception
materialism
physical and mental health issues
impressionable youth
high levels
pursuing sports
positive influence
negative influence

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Some people believe that professional athletes serve as positive role models for young people, while others argue that their behavior both on and off the field can have a negative influence. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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Tourism has become one of the leading sources of revenue in many countries. Do the advantages of tourism outweigh the disadvantages?

In multi-cultural societies, people of different cultural backgrounds live and work together. Do you think the advantages of multi-cultural societies outweigh the disadvantages?