Some people believe that professional athletes serve as positive role models for young people, while others argue that their behavior both on and off the field can have a negative influence. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people argue that professional
athletes
can influence young people as
a positive role models
Correct the article-noun agreement
a positive role model
positive role models
show examples
,
While
others believe that they have a negative influence both on and off the field.
However
, their
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
of being aggressive is harmful as a whole. In my opinion, They inspire younger individuals to pursue their dreams and passion
as well as
be ambitious about it. On the one hand, there are many
athletes
who are aggressive and have been dragged down by drug abuse. Professional sportsmen have heavily influenced younger individuals for being violent which causes personal career problems later in
life
.
For example
, A friend of mine who obsessively watched sports online had been diagnosed with anger management issues and was closely monitored his entire
life
,
thus
affecting his work
life
as well. All because of the impact the
athletes
made by their frustration and aggressiveness.
On the other hand
, A significant amount of the younger generation was positively inspired by the
athletes
and had excelled in their lives because of them. The sportsmen
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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motivated various youngsters to chase their dreams and make a difference, Despite the challenges they faced.
For instance
, My younger brother had gotten his passion for football by watching the games played by the famous Messi player. He was fascinated at the fact that he became the world's best footballer provided that he met numerous obstacles along the way to his success. In conclusion, even though
athletes
direct bad habits and harmful
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
to younger people. The big impression they make pays off entirely for all factors in
life
.
Submitted by amnahazfar03 on

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the scope of the essay, presenting a balanced view on both sides of the argument before stating your own stance.
coherence cohesion
Work to maintain a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay, making sure each paragraph has a clear central idea that is elaborated upon.
coherence cohesion
Develop your paragraphs fully by including both a topic sentence and supporting details. Make sure each paragraph consistently follows a single main idea.
task achievement
Illustrate your arguments with specific examples to strengthen your essay. You have made an effort to do this, but more varied examples could be included.
coherence cohesion
Work on clear and precise sentence structures to improve your essay's readability and effectiveness.
task achievement
Be cautious of overly simplistic sentences and ideas, and strive for a more in-depth analysis in your discussion.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion should succinctly summarize the main points discussed and restate your stance, reinforcing your argument.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • role model
  • determination
  • discipline
  • work ethic
  • community service
  • charitable activities
  • poor behavior
  • unsportsmanlike conduct
  • media scrutiny
  • public perception
  • materialism
  • physical and mental health issues
  • impressionable youth
  • high levels
  • pursuing sports
  • positive influence
  • negative influence
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