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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that universities studentsshould specialise in a particular subject while others believe that they should study a range of subjects. Discus both views and give your opinion.

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Introduction
A group of individuals present a view that university students should be proficient in specific subjects.
However
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, others hold different viewpoints that they should study various subjects. In my opinion, I strongly agree with both sides and I will attempt to elaborate my thoughts in
this
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 essay.
Body paragraph 1
Firstly
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, if a student conquers a particular course, they will have the ability to solve rigorous queries without any hesitation.
For instance
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, my friend who is fond of mathematics studies more than ten hours a day and never gives up when some unappealing results are obtained.
Secondly
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, they can seek higher job positions by concentrating on one course. To illustrate, my sister has a degree in data science,
therefore
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 she has the ability to become a data scientist. Meanwhile, if a person studies a range of subjects, they would not be able to master
in
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apply
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only one subject.
Due to
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this
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, they have to participate in several
of
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extra courses and
bootcamps
Correct your spelling
boot camps
 to become more competent.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, college students who participate in a diverse class can acquire new knowledge
besides
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 the major they pursue
in
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.
Moreover
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, they can have a wider range of job opportunities and acknowledge not just one field of study but two or more.
For example
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, my cousin chose finance as his major but he
also
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 studies computer science in a different university.
As a result
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, he opens up a myriad of career prospects when faced with the decision between venturing into the realms of finance or computer science.
Conclusion
In conclusion, students should not be restricted to studying only a certain scope. Studying another subject not only can boost their performance but
also
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 may open the doors to novel discoveries.

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coherence cohesion
It is critical that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. While these elements are present, ensure that each body paragraph focuses on a single main idea for better clarity. To enhance your logical structure, use transition words effectively between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Make sure that your introduction clearly outlines the essay's forthcoming discussion points. Aim to have a consistent theme running throughout your paragraphs, and a conclusion that effectively summarises your discussion while giving a definitive standpoint.
task achievement
Your task response reflects an understanding of the prompt, but for a higher score, ensure each viewpoint is fully explored and balanced. Provide deeper insights by tying your examples more closely to the argument, and unequivocally state your own opinion in the introduction, body, and conclusion.
task achievement
To support your main points, ensure the use of specific and relevant examples. The examples used should clearly relate to the topic and back your arguments effectively. You should aim to select more varied and detailed examples to demonstrate a higher level of understanding and engagement with the topic.
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