Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices in everyday matters such as ( food , clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Others believe that it is important for children to make their own decision about matters that affect them

Allowing Children to make their own choices or not is a
smoldering
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smouldering
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issue of today's social life and is extremely arguable
due to
its unquestionable insignificance . one group of
people
asserts that it should be allowed
while
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
disbelief in that. In the Essay, I will
favored
Wrong verb form
favour
show examples
the children in making their
choice
. I will Explain
This
with my examples.
Firstly
, One group of
people
believe that
,
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apply
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young
people
should be given
freedom
Add an article
the freedom
show examples
to make their
Correct word choice
own choice
show examples
choice
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choices
show examples
on
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
basis matters. No
matters
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matter
show examples
whatever
Correct pronoun usage
what
show examples
they do in their routine it can be related to food ,clothes or maybe entertainment.
This
activity makes
people
able to think and analyze
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
things
in different ways. In my opinion,
This
should
helpful
Add a missing verb
be helpful
show examples
for everyone to do shopping with their own
choice
so that they can learn about many
things
like pocket management and time management.
Moreover
, it can
also
help individuals to improve
a
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their
show examples
ability of decision making. These
type
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types
show examples
of different activities can make
people
more capable and responsible in their
life
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lives
show examples
.
in addition
, as far am I concerned ,it is
also
Correct article usage
a
show examples
good deed that everyone should be given equal rights to choose different
things
for themselves which they like much. In contrarily, some
group
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groups
show examples
of individuals have faith that the freedom of
choices
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choice
show examples
makes
someone
selfish
who
Correct word choice
and
show examples
only think about their own wishes. Because, whenever the freshers are given permission to do shopping of their
choice
they do not care about the money .How
the
Add a missing verb
do the
show examples
parents Earn it? and how hard is
to
Correct pronoun usage
it to
show examples
make money
?.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
They do not think these
things
are good for them or not.
For instance
,
Correct article usage
the
show examples
choice
of junk food on
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
basis is not good for
someone
to have. It will cause
someone
to have stomach
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
or some other kind of problems like Fat. In Conclusion, as far as I am concerned, the decisions making affect
someone
in many ways and
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
generation should be allowed to make their own wishes. it
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
not cause in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. In my opinion,
Its
Correct your spelling
It's
show examples
parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
show examples
responsibility to teach their
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
to take care of others
people
who lives around
there
Correct your spelling
them
show examples
. And how to help others in difficult conditions.
Submitted by usmansarfraz700 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure grammatical accuracy and clarity in expressing your ideas. Many sentences contain errors which obstruct understanding.
coherence cohesion
Develop a clear logical structure with distinct paragraphs, each presenting a unique idea supporting the main argument.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of linking words to connect ideas and paragraphs seamlessly.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task, providing a balanced view where necessary.
task achievement
Formulate your ideas comprehensively, expanding on your reasons with clear explanations and pertinent examples.
task achievement
When presenting examples, ensure they are specific and directly relevant to the arguments being made.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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