Some people say that you can learn more about another country by watching television programmes and films about it than by actually visiting it
Today, television is one of the most essential electronic devices in our houses as more shows and movies are now available to provide viewers with insights into different cultures and customs.
However
, some people
might claim that we can understand more about many other countries simply by watching it on TV. Personally, I think this
statement is only partly correct, while
such
films could be helpful in some cases, there is a range of unexplored ways of life that could never be seen on any television programmes.
Several related problems can be anticipated when tourists make undesirable impacts on the countries that people
visit. The most obvious issue is tourists throwing trash into wrong
places. Correct article usage
the wrong
For instance
, while
the travellers Correct word choice
apply
visiting
the sea on Wrong verb form
visit
the
boat, if they handily dispose of even a small plastic piece, Correct article usage
apply
this
will pollute extremely serious to the marine environment and sea animals such
as whales, corals
,... Correct word choice
and corals
Further
pressures will include destroying historic buildings. The interaction between visitors and buildings could ruin the beauty of the place, some people
randomly write their names on the walls.
There are several actions that could be taken to eradicate the problems described above. Firstly
, a simple solution would raise individual awareness. In addition
, visitors should do from a
little thing carrying personal stuff Correct article usage
apply
such
as bottles, plastic bags… To mitigate the amount of plastic waste discharged into the environment. A second measure would be tourists should indicate respect the
local cultures and traditions. Change preposition
for the
This
issue can be addressed by training people
, especially students, through educational systems to be more familiar with different traditions and customs.
In conclusion, if all these methods are well developed and performed, holidaymakers will not have damaging effects, contemporary, will make the beautiful places worldwide known and will develop the country.Submitted by ieltswritingpracticedl on
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task response
You need to ensure that your essay directly addresses all parts of the task. Your essay diverged from the topic by discussing the negative impact of tourism on countries rather than focusing on the learning possibilities through media versus actual visits.
coherence
Work on creating a clear logical structure. Although you have paragraphs, they seem to not logically follow one from the other or build coherent arguments to support your stance. The connection between them needs to be strengthened for better coherence.
cohesion
Your main points require further support with examples or explanations that are relevant to the topic. The essay drifted into different areas like environmental and cultural issues faced by tourism, which although important, aren't directly related to the given task.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?