In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In recent days, youngsters have shifted their focus from enrolling in university paths to pursuing vocational training. In my opinion,
while
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on-the-job training has some advantages, it
also
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presents many drawbacks.
This
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essay evaluates whether the benefits outweigh the disadvantages when considering
this
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choice. One of the main advantages of choosing work-based training is that workers-to-be have the opportunity to enter the job market earlier with a focus on a specific matter. In today's fast-paced world, the skills needed at work are continuously reshuffled and may be wise to focus on shortly work programmes which impart targeted abilities.
For example
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, IBM Academy every
years
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year
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proposes different vocational training aiming to prepare youngsters to develop knowledge immediately spendable in the labour market.
Moreover
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, by working just after ending the training course, young start to collect experiences and understand what better fits with their inclination.
However
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, plenty of jobs now require profound knowledge and
an held
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a
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degree which certifies them. In fact, academic degrees require study and training, which help cultivate a deeper understanding of different topics and abilities that apprenticeships often don't provide.
While
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enrolling in tertiary education often takes more time and engagement,
this
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time allows a comprehensive exploration of the matter.
Additionally
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, academic courses usually couple learning-by-book with learning-by-doing, which means that students have
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the chance to practice what they have studied with
a
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apply
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real experience. In conclusion, I believe that work-based training is well-suited for individuals who want to not spend time
in
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apply
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studying before starting work and have skills that match job demands.
However
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, in a long-term perspective, academic degrees ultimately provide a more in-depth understanding of subjects and can lead to higher-paying jobs

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task achievement
Make sure to provide a stronger argument in favor of your opinion. You mention advantages and disadvantages, but the conclusion doesn't clearly state which side you believe outweighs the other based on your discussion.
coherence and cohesion
Try improving the logical flow between paragraphs. Some parts feel a bit disjointed and could benefit from clearer transitions to guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples or data to support your claims, particularly about the advantages of work-based training. This could strengthen your argument and provide more context for the reader.
task achievement
You present a balanced view of both sides of the argument, which demonstrates your ability to consider multiple perspectives. This is an essential skill in academic writing.
coherence and cohesion
Your vocabulary and language usage are commendable, with varied sentence structures and appropriate terminology that enhance the overall quality of the essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-based training
  • enrol
  • university
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • practical skills
  • experience
  • workforce
  • employment
  • earnings
  • opportunities
  • further education
  • theoretical knowledge
  • career options
  • exploitation
  • balance
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