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Writing Samples
Band 7

Technological devices are very popular nowadays. Students should be allowed to use mobile phones

In today's world, technological
devices
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 are very common among
students
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 and they can be used for learning purposes in order to enhance their academic performance. I agree with
this
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 view and
this
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 essay will provide some evidence to support my opinion.
Firstly
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, I will discuss how technological
devices
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 can facilitate
students
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' access to information and communication.
Secondly
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, I will examine the potential drawbacks of using technological
devices
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 excessively or inappropriately. On the one hand, technological
devices
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 have developed significantly over the years and they have become an indispensable part of everyone's daily life. They offer convenience and efficiency for people to access news,
information
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and information
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 and connect with others.
Students
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 can
also
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 benefit from using technological
devices
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 for their education.
For example
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, they can access various study materials
such
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 as online tests, mock tests and guidance videos.
Moreover
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, they can communicate with their classmates, teachers and experts to solve their problems and doubts regardless of their geographical distance.
On the other hand
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, technological
devices
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such
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 as phones or computers can have a negative impact on young people if they are used excessively or for the wrong purposes.
For instance
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, some
students
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 may become addicted to gaming, social media or other online activities and neglect their studies.
This
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 can affect their concentration, motivation and grades.
Furthermore
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, some
students
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 may be influenced by harmful or misleading information or people on the internet and develop unhealthy or unethical habits or attitudes.
This
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 can damage their physical, mental and moral well-being. In conclusion, technological
devices
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 play a vital role in everyone's life. They enable
students
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 to have greater advantages for their educational purposes.
However
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,
students
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 should use them wisely and responsibly and avoid the possible pitfalls of using them. By doing so, they can improve their academic performance and prepare themselves for their future careers.

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task achievement
To enhance your essay's task achievement, ensure that you fully address all parts of the prompt. While you have provided arguments for and against the use of technological devices, more specific examples would strengthen your response. Think about particular educational apps or case studies that demonstrate the positive or negative impacts of technology on students' learning.
coherence
Ensure that you maintain coherence throughout your essay by using clear topic sentences that outline the main idea of each paragraph. It's crucial that each argument or point within your essay is logically interconnected and easy for the reader to follow. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs can be used to further improve the cohesion of your essay's structure.
cohesion
Develop your main points by supporting them with specific, detailed examples. Your arguments about the usefulness of technology should be substantiated with precise examples, such as mentioning certain apps or illustrating a scenario where such devices improved learning outcomes. Similarly, provide concrete examples of the negative consequences of device misuse among students.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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