It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays,
people
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believe in taking risks in all parts of their
lives
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, both job-related and private aspects. In my view, the benefits of having
this
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brave attitude towards life surpass its negative points for several reasons which will be discussed in the following paragraphs. The greatest point of risk-taking behaviour is that
people
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will reach high-level opportunities which will not happen in normal situations, so they can get out of their awful situation and promote themselves.
For example
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, whenever a clerk who has job dissatisfaction quits his/her job and looks for a new well-paid job, he/she is taking a risk to improve the financial situation.
In addition
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,
this
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group of society with
such
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an attitude towards life can gain a variety of experiences from all their wins and failures.
It is clear that
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they are the kinds of
people
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with high self-esteem and braveness who fight to make their
lives
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better. The major drawback of taking risks and accepting all its challenges is that
people
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may lose all their investments and their
lives
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in a moment.
Also
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,
For instance
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, when an individual takes a risk and sells all his/her possessions to invest in the stock market, because of the fluctuations of the market he/she fails and can not compensate for it.
Nonetheless
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, taking
people
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not only cannot help their situation but can
also
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worsen it. In summary, I can understand why some
people
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may have a fear of accepting challenges in their
lives
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, but it seems to me that taking risks can lead to a better life and financial conditions.
Submitted by z.rajabi on

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Task Achievement
To achieve a higher score in task achievement, ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the task. While the essay has responded to the question, the argument could be more balanced by discussing the disadvantages of risk-taking in equal measure to the advantages, providing a more nuanced view.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve in coherence and cohesion, aim for a clearer progression of ideas. Use a wider range of linking devices and paragraphing to help present your points more logically, making it easier for the reader to follow your argument. This includes varying your connectors and transition phrases rather than relying on simpler, more repetitive ones.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
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