IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Youth crime is increasing rapidly in many countries. Why it is increasing? and what solution can be taken to resolve the problem.

#youth #crime #countries
Now presently
adolescent
Fix the agreement mistake
adolescents
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is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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need money. Owing to numerous criminal groups
arise
Wrong verb form
have arisen
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 around the world and they suggest
to join
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joining
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 the groups.
As a result
, they are losing their opportunities through
this
 crime.
To begin
 with, teens have much more free time and they
divided
Add a missing verb
are divided
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two
Change preposition
into two
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 groups positive and negative. With must be controlled and supported by parents. But they are becoming illiteracy.
Consequence
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Consequently
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, they join criminal
group
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groups
show examples
 and earn some money without hard work. They think the regular and nobody
don't
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doesn't
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 complain to
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 and others. Various measures can be taken to
trouble
Wrong verb form
troubleshoot
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 the problems that are certain as the population of countries
grow
Correct subject-verb agreement
grows
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unemployment
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unemployed
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. In fact,
gang
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gangs
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involved
Wrong verb form
involve
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 " he or she" and they want to be their members.
Secondly
 , some
Youngs
Correct your spelling
young people
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 lack
of
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apply
show examples
money and they
except
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accept
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 bad habits.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 they use lying, kill,
sells
Correct subject-verb agreement
sell
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drug
Fix the agreement mistake
drugs
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 and others.
Ones
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One
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want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
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 to spend time
Change preposition
on simpl
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simpl
Correct your spelling
simple
 activities.
Furthermore
, they use lying, killers,
sells
Wrong verb form
selling
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drug
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drugs
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 and other ways. Today many people are worried about crime,
in addition
, bad
experience
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experiences
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 from childhood
builds
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build
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
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rage in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
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 that can result
dangerous
Correct word choice
in danger
show examples
. On the one hand, we must be
awareness
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aware
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 and control child's
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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 when they are growing up namely our family don't happen, browse and a silly
burgarly
Correct your spelling
burglary
. In my opinion effective solution.
To conclude
, I fully support the view. We need to supervise and care until the girl or boy becomes independent.
Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on

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logical structure
The essay does not present a clear or logical structure. Consider using a more organized approach by introducing the topic, presenting ideas each in their separate paragraphs, and concluding effectively.
introduction conclusion present
An introduction and conclusion are present, but they lack clarity and strength. Aim for an engaging introduction that clearly states the topic and your position, and a conclusion that effectively summarises your main points and relates back to the topic.
supported main points
Main points are mentioned but not supported adequately. Develop each point with clear explanations, reasons, and examples.
complete response
The response to the task is incomplete and lacks depth. Address the causes of youth crime and provide clearly elaborated solutions to resolve the problem.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ideas are present but not conveyed clearly and comprehensively. Work on expressing your thoughts in a well-articulated and understandable manner.
relevant specific examples
The essay contains very limited specific examples to support the arguments. Use relevant and concrete examples to strengthen your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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