Childhood obesity is being a serious problem in many countries. What are the causes of this? What solutions can be offered?
Nowadays, Many countries facing childhood
obesity
problems
with a severe conditions
and how Correct the article-noun agreement
severe conditions
a severe condition
it
will Correct pronoun usage
they
be solve
easily. In my opinion, I will explain about Change the verb form
be solved
this
obesity
problems
.
Fix the agreement mistake
problem
To begin
, Some
countries people Change preposition
in Some
taking
junk Verb problem
eat
food
easily like bread, burger
, Fix the agreement mistake
burgers
pizza
with different sauces. Correct word choice
and pizza
For instance
, people are spending more time in office
, shops, Fix the agreement mistake
offices
outdoor
activities that time they Correct word choice
and outdoor
are
not Verb problem
do
preferencing
regular Replace the word
prefer
food
habits
. Furthermore
, childrens
Correct your spelling
children
children's
impressing
junk foods Verb problem
eating
eating
regularly Verb problem
apply
it
will affect on child Correct pronoun usage
apply
obesity
with their many health issues
and early stages of knee pain, back pain and heart issues
.
Firstly
, have to change food
Correct pronoun usage
their food
habits
eating time at early dinner and calories
Fix the agreement mistake
calorie
count
Correct subject-verb agreement
counts
also
important for kids
Change noun form
kids'
kid's
habit
. Fix the agreement mistake
habits
For instance
, if we change the
Change the word
our
food
habits
it will easily reduce the obesity
issues
in many countries many of them are not taking care of health issues
and not doing regular exercises. Secondly
, In early
stages we have to teach Correct article usage
the early
with
kids from 5 years morning eat Change preposition
apply
healthy
breakfast, afternoon have carbohydrates and Correct article usage
a healthy
then
dinner is
light-weight Unnecessary verb
apply
food taking
Add a hyphen
food-taking
practices
. Fix the agreement mistake
practice
Finally
, "practice makes man perfect" have
to follow these steps it will help for childhood Wrong verb form
has
obesity
problems
early stages.
To conclude
, obesity
problems
contains
junk Change the verb form
contain
food
habits
, the
reason Correct word choice
and the
of
Change preposition
for
food
habit
can change easily with physical exercises and regular walking practices.Fix the agreement mistake
habits
Submitted by mailramkrish on
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and logical structure that is normally expected in IELTS responses. Introduction and conclusion are not well developed, though present. The supporting main points need more development and organization to show a logical argument.
task achievement
The response is incomplete and fails to fully answer the question. The ideas are not clear or comprehensive, and relevant examples are limited, which affects the ability to demonstrate task achievement. Ensure you address all parts of the task clearly and provide fully developed ideas with specific examples.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...