Childhood obesity is being a serious problem in many countries. What are the causes of this? What solutions can be offered?

#childhood #obesity #countries #what

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Nowadays, Many countries facing childhood

obesity

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problems

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with

a severe conditions

Correct the article-noun agreement

severe conditions

a severe condition

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and how

Correct pronoun usage

they

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will

be solve

Change the verb form

be solved

show examples

easily. In my opinion, I will explain about

this

Linking Words

obesity

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problems

Fix the agreement mistake

problem

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To begin

Linking Words

Some

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in Some

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countries people

taking

Verb problem

eat

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junk

food

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easily like bread,

burger

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burgers

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pizza

Correct word choice

and pizza

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with different sauces.

For instance

Linking Words

, people are spending more time in

office

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offices

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, shops,

outdoor

Correct word choice

and outdoor

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activities that time they

are

Verb problem

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not

preferencing

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prefer

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regular

food

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habits

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Furthermore

Linking Words

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

children's

impressing

Verb problem

eating

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junk foods

eating

Verb problem

apply

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regularly

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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will affect on child

obesity

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with their many health

issues

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and early stages of knee pain, back pain and heart

issues

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Firstly

Linking Words

, have to change

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food

Correct pronoun usage

their food

show examples

habits

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eating time at early dinner and

calories

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calorie

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count

Correct subject-verb agreement

counts

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also

Linking Words

important for

kids

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kids'

kid's

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habit

Fix the agreement mistake

habits

show examples

For instance

Linking Words

, if we change

the

Change the word

our

show examples

food

Use synonyms

habits

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it will easily reduce the

obesity

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issues

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in many countries many of them are not taking care of health

issues

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and not doing regular exercises.

Secondly

Linking Words

, In

early

Correct article usage

the early

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stages we have to teach

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

kids from 5 years morning eat

healthy

Correct article usage

a healthy

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breakfast, afternoon have carbohydrates and

then

Linking Words

dinner

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

light-weight

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food taking

Add a hyphen

food-taking

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practices

Fix the agreement mistake

practice

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Finally

Linking Words

, "practice makes man perfect"

have

Wrong verb form

has

show examples

to follow these steps it will help for childhood

obesity

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problems

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early stages.

To conclude

Linking Words

obesity

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problems

Use synonyms

contains

Change the verb form

contain

show examples

junk

food

Use synonyms

habits

Use synonyms

the

Correct word choice

and the

show examples

reason

Change preposition

for

show examples

food

Use synonyms

habit

Fix the agreement mistake

habits

show examples

can change easily with physical exercises and regular walking practices.

Submitted by mailramkrish on Thu Dec 21 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay lacks a clear and logical structure that is normally expected in IELTS responses. Introduction and conclusion are not well developed, though present. The supporting main points need more development and organization to show a logical argument.

task achievement

The response is incomplete and fails to fully answer the question. The ideas are not clear or comprehensive, and relevant examples are limited, which affects the ability to demonstrate task achievement. Ensure you address all parts of the task clearly and provide fully developed ideas with specific examples.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

216 words

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Childhood obesity is being a serious problem in many countries. What are the causes of this? What solutions can be offered?

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Some people believe that it is a waste of time ot read read newspapers and watch news on televison. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people believe that modern technology has brought people together but other say it has driven us apart. Discuss the both views and give your opinion.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?