Childhood obesity is being a serious problem in many countries. What are the causes of this? What solutions can be offered?

#childhood #obesity #countries #what

Nowadays, Many countries facing childhood

obesity

problems

with

a severe conditions

Correct the article-noun agreement

severe conditions

a severe condition

show examples

and how

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

will

be solve

Change the verb form

be solved

show examples

easily. In my opinion, I will explain about

this

obesity

problems

Fix the agreement mistake

problem

show examples

To begin

Some

Change preposition

in Some

show examples

countries people

taking

Verb problem

eat

show examples

junk

food

easily like bread,

burger

Fix the agreement mistake

burgers

show examples

pizza

Correct word choice

and pizza

show examples

with different sauces.

For instance

, people are spending more time in

office

Fix the agreement mistake

offices

show examples

, shops,

outdoor

Correct word choice

and outdoor

show examples

activities that time they

are

Verb problem

show examples

not

preferencing

Replace the word

prefer

show examples

regular

food

habits

Furthermore

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

children's

impressing

Verb problem

eating

show examples

junk foods

eating

Verb problem

apply

show examples

regularly

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

will affect on child

obesity

with their many health

issues

and early stages of knee pain, back pain and heart

issues

Firstly

, have to change

food

Correct pronoun usage

their food

show examples

habits

eating time at early dinner and

calories

Fix the agreement mistake

calorie

show examples

count

Correct subject-verb agreement

counts

show examples

also

important for

kids

Change noun form

kids'

kid's

show examples

habit

Fix the agreement mistake

habits

show examples

For instance

, if we change

the

Change the word

our

show examples

food

habits

it will easily reduce the

obesity

issues

in many countries many of them are not taking care of health

issues

and not doing regular exercises.

Secondly

, In

early

Correct article usage

the early

show examples

stages we have to teach

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

kids from 5 years morning eat

healthy

Correct article usage

a healthy

show examples

breakfast, afternoon have carbohydrates and

then

dinner

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

light-weight

food taking

Add a hyphen

food-taking

show examples

practices

Fix the agreement mistake

practice

show examples

Finally

, "practice makes man perfect"

have

Wrong verb form

has

show examples

to follow these steps it will help for childhood

obesity

problems

early stages.

To conclude

obesity

problems

contains

Change the verb form

contain

show examples

junk

food

habits

the

Correct word choice

and the

show examples

reason

Change preposition

for

show examples

food

habit

Fix the agreement mistake

habits

show examples

can change easily with physical exercises and regular walking practices.

Submitted by mailramkrish on Thu Dec 21 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay lacks a clear and logical structure that is normally expected in IELTS responses. Introduction and conclusion are not well developed, though present. The supporting main points need more development and organization to show a logical argument.

task achievement

The response is incomplete and fails to fully answer the question. The ideas are not clear or comprehensive, and relevant examples are limited, which affects the ability to demonstrate task achievement. Ensure you address all parts of the task clearly and provide fully developed ideas with specific examples.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

216 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Childhood obesity is being a serious problem in many countries. What are the causes of this? What solutions can be offered?

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

in many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is appopriate use of government money?

a person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social and material possessions. old- fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion

You recieved a letter from your friend that his elderly parents are visiting in your city. Which places they should visit Where should they live Invite them to do something with you

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

in many countries around the world ,rural people are moving to cities,so the population in the countryside is decreasing. do you think this is a positive or a negative development?