IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays, certain problem are rising because of rising in number of citizens in the major towns of the world. Discuss about the issues and solutions to overcome it.

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It is a
universal
Change the word
universally
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 accepted problem of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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overpopulation
Use synonyms
 in major metro
cities
Use synonyms
 across the globe. It creates
the
Correct article usage
apply
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environmental issues and
more
Correct word choice
higher
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crime
Use synonyms
 rates
among
Change preposition
in
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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metropolitan areas
in
Change preposition
of
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world
Add an article
the world
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.
However
Linking Words
, there are some measures that can mitigate
this
Linking Words
 adverse phenomenon around the globe.
This
Linking Words
 essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons. There are some problems of
massive
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the massive
a massive
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 amount of people are in
mega
Correct your spelling
megacities
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cities
Use synonyms
. One of the first issues of that it creates
the
Correct article usage
apply
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environmental problems
such
Linking Words
 as pollution.
This
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 is because,
overpopulation
Use synonyms
 can lead to
get
Verb problem
apply
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more emissions by using more vehicles,
thus
Linking Words
, CO2 can be mixed into
air
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the air
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Linking Words
then
Correct your spelling
the
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 air
being
Wrong verb form
is
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 polluted. Another problem that needs to be considered for increasing the
crime
Use synonyms
 rate
due
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to
Change preposition
that
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cities
Use synonyms
 have more attraction to all people meanwhile many misleading activities
are happened
Change to the active voice
happen
have happened
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.
For example
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,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Mumbai state of India is a mega city and
overpopulation
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as well as
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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crime
Use synonyms
 rate
also
Linking Words
 increased
Correct quantifier usage
more rapidily
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rapidily
Correct your spelling
rapidly
 than
other
Change preposition
in other
show examples
cities
Use synonyms
.
Crime
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chance
Fix the agreement mistake
chances
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 are more in metropolitan locations.
Nevertheless
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, there are some feasible solutions that can diminish
this
Linking Words
 adverse trend.
A possible solutions
Correct the article-noun agreement
A possible solution
Possible solutions
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 to
this
Linking Words
 issue would be for the authorities
should be provided
Wrong verb form
to provide
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 a better standard of education in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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rural areas like
cities
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, and
as a result
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,
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the cities
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cities
Change noun form
cities'
city's
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 population might be reduced. One immediate practical solution is to that the government
Fix the infinitive
to provides
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provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
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 rebate and
scheme
Fix the agreement mistake
schemes
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 who starts
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
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 in rural places.
For instance
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, Tesla is a
large scale
Add a hyphen
large-scale
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
enterprise
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
, if it can start their branches in rural locations
then
Linking Words
 countryside populations can obtain a plethora of employment opportunities in their own residential venues.
To conclude
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,
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
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overpopulation
Use synonyms
 in megacities can bring more troubles
such
Linking Words
 as air pollution by using numerous vehicles that release more emissions, increasing the
crime
Use synonyms
 rates.
Linking Words
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, there are some feasible
measurements
Replace the word
measures
show examples
 that can diminish
this
Linking Words
 tendency like the authorities should provide a better quality of education in villages as much as
cities
Use synonyms
 and the government may provide
rebate
Fix the agreement mistake
rebates
show examples
 and schemes for
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
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starts
Correct subject-verb agreement
start
show examples
company
Add an article
a company
show examples
 in rural places.

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The introduction should present the topic and your thesis statement, the body paragraphs should each focus on one main idea with supporting details and examples, and the conclusion should summarise the main points and restate your thesis in light of the discussion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Develop your ideas more comprehensively. While you have touched on several issues and solutions, these need to be expanded upon with better-developed explanations and more relevant examples. Additionally, ensure that the solutions directly address the issues you have identified.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a variety of cohesive devices to link your ideas and paragraphs more effectively. This includes transition words and phrases, as well as referencing words. However, avoid overuse and make sure they are used appropriately to maintain coherence.
Task Achievement
Fully address all parts of the task. While you have identified issues and suggested solutions, develop each point fully to meet the task requirements. Make sure that your essay is complete and leaves the reader with a clear understanding of your position and arguments.
Task Achievement
Use clear, comprehensive ideas to build your argument. Avoid generalizations and make your points more specific. Include a range of sentence structures and vocabulary to demonstrate language proficiency.
Task Achievement
When using examples to support your points, ensure that they are specific, relevant, and well-explained. The use of examples is crucial in illustrating your point and should be integrated into your discussion seamlessly.
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