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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #space #exploration #waste #governments #benefit #nation
Nowadays, exploring
space
 is one of the hottest topics for many countries. It is claimed, that countries are spending a large amount of money for
space
 and it gives them nothing.
Furthermore
, it would be better if they spent
this
 money on the development of their nation.
This
 essay will look at the arguments and discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
them. I personally disagree with
this
 opinion, because
space
 is a great example for our economy and wealth. First of all,
space
 is so large, that we have not explored 99% of it and its exploration could be useful for us.
In addition
, there could be thousands of different materials that would be convenient and valuable for us.
For instance
, some of them could be from meteors or different kinds of planets,
Secondly
, the stations and companies that are related to the
space
 industry, increase the economy and bring a lot of wealth.
Consequently
, there are the jobs that those companies create and it is a great opportunity for the nation to get these jobs.
As a result
, there would be less unemployment and more development. In conclusion,
space
 and its exploration is an essential part
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 us and for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
future
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
show examples
.
This
 means that we need to explore and make an investment to gather all these unknown materials that could be useful for us.
Moreover
, it is wonderful for the economy and the nation's development. From my point of view, investing in
space
 is not a waste of money and if we did
this
 correctly, we would bring a bright future for the next generation.
Submitted by sosokhurtsidzee on

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task achievement
Develop your arguments more thoroughly with detailed examples and explanations to enhance clarity and task response.
coherence cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures and linking words to improve flow and readability.
task achievement
Analyze both sides of the argument to provide a more balanced discussion and to fully meet the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
Good job on including an introduction and conclusion that clearly express your stance.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a logical flow of ideas, effectively organized into paragraphs.
task achievement
You've successfully conveyed your disagreement with the statement by providing supporting points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • complete waste
  • benefit the nation
  • technological advancements
  • foster
  • international cooperation
  • inspire
  • engage
  • boost the economy
  • long-term benefits
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