Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people makes? Has this become a positive or negative development?

In
this
day and age,
technology
has improved,
while
several ways of
communication
have been very varied,
such
as smartphones, laptops and so forth. In my perspective,
technology
is an effective development not only for
people
's
communication
but
also
raising other aspects of professions. There are a considerable number of improvements.
First,
the
technology
makes
communication
easier and almost every individual has access to their devices to have either audio calls or face-to-face conversations, with everyone that they know.
For instance
,
people
who are far from each other can make conversation on the internet by using smartphones.
Although
visiting in person might be slightly better than online, it might waste a lot of time.
In addition
to that,
technology
helps
people
to establish their online businesses which has a dozen benefits to them.
For example
, most
people
start their job on the internet and some specific platforms
such
as Instagram, Twitter and Facebook. They do not spend huge amounts of money on renting places and street advertisements.
In contrast
, they can invest to make a chain
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
of customers who may be far
precious
Correct quantifier usage
more precious
show examples
than others who just browsing and are not keen on buying anything after spending a lot of time. In conclusion,
technology
is likely to contribute
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
public to
Change preposition
public's
show examples
better
communication
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
different ways. Following that,
technology
is getting more and more popular among
people
and
this
is inevitable.
Submitted by sarmastsobhan1994 on

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task achievement
The essay adequately addresses the topic, but could improve by providing a more balanced discussion on both positive and negative developments of technology on relationships. The response must cover all aspects of the prompt more comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
Ideas are organized and there is a clear progression throughout the text. However, the essay would benefit from a clearer topic sentence for each paragraph and more varied use of cohesive devices to better signal the relationship between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Main points are supported, but the development of ideas is somewhat limited. Try to provide more detailed examples and explanations to fully support the argument, including specific impacts on relationships and potential drawbacks of technology.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

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  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • technology
  • interact
  • relationships
  • connectivity
  • communication
  • online
  • face-to-face
  • friendships
  • romantic relationships
  • family dynamics
  • positive
  • negative
  • development
  • effects
  • formation
  • ease
  • impacts
  • communities
  • connect
  • interaction
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