Some people say that the best way to discourage smoking is to make smoking illegal in public places. Other people say that this is not enough, and that other measures are needed.

#people #places #measures

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Currently, the topic of smoking is something which bears some consideration. In my opinion,

laws

Use synonyms

against smoking in public places will do a lot to discourage

this

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unpleasant and unhealthy habit, and I do not believe any

further

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measures

Use synonyms

are needed. It must be understood that

laws

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have great importance and influence in today’s society.

This

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is because

laws

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can be applied to everybody of all ages who commit crimes

such

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as smoking in public places

as well as

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make smoking illegal.

Furthermore

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laws

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also

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can be used to sentence criminals and put them in prison or apply some monetary penalties when

people

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smoke.

As a result

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, the rate of smoking in public will be reduced and citizens can be prevented from breathing cigarette smoke or going down with lung cancer.

However

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, some

people

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believe that

laws

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are not strong enough to deal with the smoking issue and

further

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measures

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are needed.

Due to

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the fact that law can not make

people

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totally obey or implement the regulations,

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

it should be supported by other methods in parallel in order to effectively tackle smoking illegal in society.

As a result

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, more and more criminals will try to find a way to commit crimes without being caught. To an certain they are right but if the law is applied accurately and strictly toward the offenders who smoke in public, it will have a great influence on non-smokers' mindset and awareness. It is the opinion of

this

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writer that

laws

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can do a great deal to reduce smoking.

This

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due to

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the fact that smoking is a public health hazard and should be outlawed. Other

measures

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such

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as education or taxes may affect the rate of smoking but not not really as effective as

laws

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Therefore

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, only

laws

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can affect non-smokers and everybody can have the accessibility to deep knowledge about

laws

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instead

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of education or anything else.

Thus

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, the great influence of

laws

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and the effectiveness with which

laws

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affect

people

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are essential points that need to be considered.

Hence

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, it should have been shown that

laws

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can deal with smoking issues and other

measures

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are not needed.

Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on Wed Mar 06 2024

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Task Achievement

Work on providing more specific examples and evidence to substantiate your points about laws against smoking, which would enhance the depth of your argument.

Task Achievement

Expand on alternative measures beyond laws and explain why these are less effective, to fully address all parts of the question statement.

Coherence & Cohesion

Use a variety of linking words and phrases to guide the reader more smoothly from one idea to another, enhancing the overall flow of the essay.

Coherence & Cohesion

Improve paragraphing by ensuring each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, supported by specific examples or explanations, to increase the clarity of your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

358 words

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Some people say that the best way to discourage smoking is to make smoking illegal in public places. Other people say that this is not enough, and that other measures are needed.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think the typical teaching of a teacher and students in the class will not exist by the year 2050. Do you agree or disagree?

In most countries, prison is the most common solution when people commit a crime. However, if they were to receive better education, it could prevent them from becoming criminals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that children should aim to their best at what they are doing while others believe it is not necessary for them. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some people believe that education is important to get jobs while others believe it its experience and skills. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some think that residents should responsible for keeping their areas clean and tidy, while others say it is the government’s responsibility. Discuss both views and state your own opinion.