The best way to reduce traffic accidents is to raise the age limit for younger drivers and to lower the age limit for elderly ones. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and any relevant examples.

It is believed that raising the
age
to get a driving license and prohibiting seniors earlier from driving can tackle the issue of traffic crashes I disagree with
this
phenomenon as I hold the idea that we can overcome
this
problem
by
enhance things
Wrong verb form
enhancing
show examples
driving manners
moreover
the older people get the more experienced they become unless they suffer from some specific diseases that keep them from driving properly. To commence with, regardless of how old
drivers
are, they must obey some rules and it plays the most vital role in managing
this
problem
. To illustrate, it does not really matter whether a person becomes eligible to drive at the
age
of 18 or 21 if they drink and drive or cross a red light.
Therefore
, raising the
age
limit won'
t
work if the community does not follow the rules.
Secondly
, driving is a practical skill so doing it for many years not only grows your skill but
also
makes it easier. Some illnesses in the elderly ages are recognized as a deterrent like having poor eyesight or paralysis, in
this
,case seniors can be banned from driving to keep the streets safe. The statistics show that people around the
age
of 55-65 are as good
drivers
as the ones in their forties.
Hence
, reducing the driving
age
will not affect
this
issue.
To conclude
, some people assume the
problem
of car crashes can be solved by applying stricter
age
limits. I opine that it won'
t
cope with the
problem
if the
drivers
don'
t
mind the rules.
Additionally
, older
drivers
own more valuable experiences which allows them to drive better if they don'
t
suffer from deterrent illnesses.
Submitted by mahsa_hasanikousha on

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task achievement
Ensure that the introduction clearly and fully states the essay's contention. Your statement 'I disagree with this phenomenon' could be more clearly expressed.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words and phrases more effectively to enhance the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. This will strengthen the points you are making.
coherence cohesion
Avoid long and complex sentences where possible; ensuring clarity and readability should be prioritized.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear stance on the issue, maintaining a consistent argument throughout.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph addresses a distinct point, contributing to the overall argument.

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