Large businesses have big budgets for marketing and promotion and as a result, people gravitate towards buying their products. What problems does this cause? What could be done to encourage people to buy local products?
It is a proven fact that marketing and advertisement play a huge role in the success of a business.
However
, It needs too much money that many local businesses
cannot afford. So, people are inclined to buy products
from more famous brands. This
phenomenon will raise problems which have bad effects on the economy and there are some solutions that can be suggested for solving this
issue.
More marketing means more profit
. As a business advertises more, the profit
from selling its products
grows and as a result
, the company becomes richer. Simultaneously, when local businesses
lose the battle of marketing to rich ones due to
the lack of budget, they would not gain profit
and therefore
, local businesses
face the danger of being bankrupt. One of the worst pitfalls of this
situation is that the economy will become sick in the society and money will be summed up in only rich companies. Therefore
, they become too powerful and local occupations would not have a chance to get to them.
When a company is way too powerful to beat, it can manage the price of certain products
in the market as it wants. Hence
the other similar companies are out of the game, big companies can do unfair things like grow the price and at the same time, lower the quality of a product. But if there are some local rivals which people tend to buy from them too, nothing like that could happen.
One of the main solutions which can be put forward is that governments take action and provide an adequate budget for a local business to grow and advertise its products
. Then
, the company can return the favour by the profit
of selling its products
to the government. Another approach would be providing some campaigns for people like lotteries or discounts to encourage them to try the new local brand.
Overall
, we can say that government
has a significant role in the success of local producers and they should pay more attention to newborn, little Correct article usage
the government
businesses
.Submitted by mohamad.sanaye462 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure a clear logical structure throughout your essay. Initial paragraphs mention a progression from marketing to company profits to the domination of large companies, but the connections between these ideas could be stronger and more explicit. The essay could benefit from clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that present the main idea, followed by explanations and examples that support that point.
Coherence and Cohesion
Good introduction and conclusion placement; both paragraphs serve their purposes well. However, the conclusion could benefit from a more concise summary of the previously stated problems and proposed solutions, tying the essay's arguments together more effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
While your main points are supported, the support mostly takes the form of hypothetical statements rather than specific examples. Concrete examples or case studies would greatly enhance the persuasiveness of your arguments. It is crucial to include clear, relevant examples when discussing problems and possible solutions.
Task Achievement
You have completed the task by addressing both parts of the prompt. However, the problems caused by big companies' market dominance and the encouragement for buying local products could be dealt with in more depth. A fuller consideration of the issue's nuances would improve your score.
Task Achievement
Your ideas are clear and you have presented a comprehensive response, but the essay would benefit from developing each point further. Try to elaborate each problem and solution more thoroughly, giving your reader a complete understanding of your reasoning. The addition of specific real-world implications or consequences related to the problems would help here.
Task Achievement
The use of relevant and specific examples is essential for a high Task Response score. The suggestion for government intervention and consumer incentives is a good starting point, but these need to be fleshed out with more specificity - for instance, detailing how exactly the government could support local businesses or how campaigns might work to promote local products.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.