Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money.othes argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There is a common belief that we have to contend that embracing challenging situations like an unsatisfactory job or financial scarcity, is optimal.
Conversely
, others argue that
this
is more beneficial if we actively seek ways to advance and enhance
such
circumstances. In my opinion, I completely agree with the second statement. In
this
essay, I will elaborate on my views regarding
this
issue
while
providing merits and demerits for both perspectives.
To begin
with, when people acknowledge that they are employed in an occupation that they are not passionate about, they have a bigger chance of encountering stress.
Moreover
, they propelled themselves to advance through daily activities they disliked, convinced in their minds that they couldn't achieve better.
For instance
, my sister works as a marketing staff
while
she does not have any interest in selling though her salary does provide her with an adequate living.
Although
she already knows her passion is to be a painter, she thinks becoming a successful painter can be challenging, and she prioritizes financial stability over pursuing a career in the arts.
On the other hand
, individuals who are optimists would try hard by making proactive efforts to improve adverse situations are crucial for personal development and
overall
well-being.
Therefore
, they can enhance their quality of life.
For instance
, my grandma once was a janitor with a low wage,
thus
she wanted to upgrade her circumstances for her children.
As a result
, she strived diligently to start a new business until it reached milestones. In conclusion, anyone can become successful as long as they are willing to exert effort and employ creative thinking. The combination of hard work and innovative approaches opens doors to opportunities and paves the way for personal and professional accomplishments. Ultimately, the key lies in the determination to strive for success and the ability to think outside conventional boundaries.
Submitted by pnasywasina on

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task achievement
Ensure that you maintain a clear position throughout the response. It seems there is a balance of discussion between both views without clear inclination towards one until the conclusion. The weight of discussion should reflect your stance throughout the essay.
task achievement
Your introduction should more explicitly outline what the essay will discuss, ensuring the reader is clear on your stance from the beginning. Avoid ambiguities in your position.
coherence and cohesion
Work on clear and cohesive transitions between paragraphs. Although the examples provided are relevant, the connectivity between ideas and paragraphs was not entirely smooth.
coherence and cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to manage your ideas more effectively. This will ensure the logical flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion needs to be strengthened. It serves as the final opportunity to reiterate and emphasize your stance and main points clearly.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • immediate relief
  • reduce stress
  • fruitless and exhausting
  • contentment and gratitude
  • personal growth
  • self-improvement
  • long-term satisfaction
  • proactively addressing
  • future opportunities
  • stability
  • realistic goals
  • personal values
  • long-term visions
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