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Band 1

many people feel violent media encourages real-life violence among young people. What do you think causes young people to behave violently?

#people #media #violence
One of the burning issues of the world is media promoting
violence
 which is increasing rapidly today. Growing media
violence
 can result in amongst youth individuals behaving aggressively.
Although
 some argue that
this
 is not the main factor for growing
violence
, I concur with the idea that promoting
violence
 amongst the youth individuals is a complex issue with multiple factors, so analyzing the factors of access to weapons and substance abuse will impact growing
violence
.
Submitted by m.momeni1010 on

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introduction
Ensure a clear introduction is provided, laying out the essay structure and your position.
body paragraphs
Develop paragraphs with clear main ideas, supported by specific examples or further explanation.
conclusion
Your conclusion should succinctly summarize the main points and restate your position clearly.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence by using a range of cohesive devices and paragraphing effectively.
task response
Make sure to fully address all parts of the task, providing a thorough discussion of the causes of violence among young people.
specific examples
Increase specificity by providing detailed examples and elaborating on the causes you mention; this will improve task achievement.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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