Many children nowadays find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention at school. What are the causes of this phenomenon? What are the possible solutions to this problem?

In the contemporary era, numerous
students
have difficulty focusing at school.
However
, the root causes of
this
phenomenon are multifaceted, and there are
also
various approaches to tackle the problems.
This
essay will explore the reasons and propose possible manners. In today's digital age, technology like phones and computers is the primary cause that influences youths' concentration the most. It is widely agreed that youngsters who often play video games will let information regardless of subjects occupy their brains, so their quality of studying can be disrupted.
Furthermore
, what is obvious is that
this
society promotes the speed of finishing tasks. In
this
way, most education systems adapt short reading to stimulate young people's critical thinking and ignore the fact that long pieces of articles can foster children's patience in reading.
As a consequence
, today's
students
are less able to focus for a period of time.
On the other hand
, there are
also
diverse ways to address the problems. It is undeniable that online games can be detrimental to the learning of youngsters, so setting up regulations for games is a good way to solve the problems. In essence, as a country with remarkable performance in traditional subjects
such
as science and mathematics, China has made a few policies about restrictions on the daily internet usage of adolescents.
Moreover
, there is an increasing number of institutions that have started to promote the long-reading strategy as the benchmark of education, and
this
can facilitate
students
to get used to continuous concentration. In conclusion, it is evident that policymakers can help
students
pay more attention at school by making rules, and the promotion of novel study methods can
also
enhance the situation.
Submitted by seanlin12345 on

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task achievement
Your essay initially addresses the question directly and attempts to cover both causes and solutions, yet the explanations and development of ideas require further depth and detail. Ensure you expand your main points with specific examples and clear reasoning to enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
Your essay shows a basic logical sequence, but transitions between ideas can be improved for smoother flow. Use a range of cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs more effectively.
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