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Writing Samples /
Band 7

The bar and pie charts below illustrate how many people use the internet and the average amount of money spent on the internet in five different countries.

The bar and pie charts below illustrate how many people use the internet and the average amount of money spent on the internet in five different countries.
#bar #people #internet #amount #money #five #countries
The bar and pie charts below illustrate how many
people
 use the internet and the average amount of money spent on the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 in five different countries.
Overall
, the majority of
people
 who use the web are in
Sweden
, whilst the least are located in
Spain
. The
UK
also
 invests the most money
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 shopping, followed closely by
Sweden
.
People
 in
Spain
 tend to spend very little on internet shopping. Looking at the bar graph in more detail, the highest amount of the population using the net
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 in
Sweden
 with a figure of 35%.
This
 is 7 times the number for
Spain
 which is only 5%. France’s figure is double that of
Spain
 at 10%. Germany and the
UK
 have statistics that are the most similar, these being respectively 15 and 20. Examining the pie chart in more detail, the
people
 in the
UK
 spend most of their revenue on purchases, displaying a statistic of 87. More than ¾ of their earnings go on shopping in
Sweden
, 76%. France and Germany have numbers that are relatively similar, 57 and 46. The
UK
 spends less than a fifth of these values, giving a statistic of 10 euros.
Submitted by abeera2012 on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, sweden, spain, uk with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrate" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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