Modern societies need specialists in certain fields, but not others. Some people therefore think that governments should pay university fees for students who study subjects that are needed by society. Those who choose to study less relevant subjects should not receive the government funding. Would the advantages of such an educational policy outweigh the disadvantages?

In every country, there are fashions among
students
about which
subjects
are the best to study at university. Sometimes the popularity of a subject is determined by how much money a graduate could
subsequently
earn in that field. Or
subjects
that are perceived as relatively 'easy' may
also
become popular, in spite of later difficulties of finding appropriate employment. It is up to governments to give incentives to
students
to choose
subjects
that match the needs of their society. Obviously, one way to do
this
would be for the government to pay the fees of those choosing
such
subjects
. The advantage would certainly be that a higher number of
students
would enrol and would later fill the employment gaps.
However
, the disadvantages of
such
a policy would be considerable.
For example
, the
students
attracted by the funding may not have any real interest in or aptitude for that subject.
Such
students
may drop out before graduation or after working only a short time in a related job.
Furthermore
, funding one group of
students
but not the other would penalise those with a genuine interest and ability for another field.
Such
discrimination would certainly affect the whole of higher education of the country and
students
would develop very negative attitudes towards going to university altogether.
This
would be very counter-productive for any country. In conclusion, I think there are many other incentives for
students
that could be considered,
such
as making courses more interesting to take, or the job rewards greater after graduation. The education policy proposed above,
however
, would certainly have more long-term disadvantages than benefits for society. (267 words)
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Try to include a wider variety of sentence structures to enhance the flow and readability of your essay.
task achievement
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task achievement
Consider a more detailed examination of the opposite viewpoint to enrich your discussion. While you mention the advantages briefly, a deeper exploration could provide a more balanced analysis.
task achievement
You've done an excellent job of clearly stating your opinion in the conclusion, making your stance on the issue clear.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, with clear paragraphs including an introduction, development of points, and a conclusion, enhancing its overall coherence and cohesion.

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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