IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many people believe that it is easier to have a healthy lifeystyle in the countryside. Others believe that there are more health benefits to living in cities. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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In today’s world,
health
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 has become a major concern, and where a person lives can significantly affect their
lifestyle
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.
While
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 some
people
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 argue that living in the
countryside
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 makes it easier to maintain a healthy
lifestyle
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, others believe that urban living offers better
health
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 benefits. Both views have merit, but I personally believe that the
countryside
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 provides more opportunities for a healthier life
overall
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. On one hand, those who support city living often highlight the greater access to healthcare facilities. Modern hospitals, specialized doctors, and fitness
centers
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centres
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 are usually more available in urban areas.
People
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 can receive quicker medical treatment and join gyms or wellness programs easily.
In addition
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, cities offer a wider variety of healthy food options,
such
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 as organic stores or diet-specific restaurants, which can help
people
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 stay on track with their
health
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 goals.
On the other hand
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, rural life is often associated with a cleaner environment, less stress, and more physical activity. The
countryside
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 generally has less pollution, more green space, and fewer industrial areas, which can benefit respiratory
health
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 and mental well-being.
Moreover
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,
people
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 in the
countryside
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 may engage in more natural forms of exercise,
such
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 as farming or walking, rather than relying on gyms. There is
also
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 often a stronger sense of community, which can reduce feelings of isolation and contribute to better emotional
health
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. In my opinion,
while
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 cities may offer better healthcare infrastructure, the
countryside
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 is more suitable for maintaining a healthy
lifestyle
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 in the long run. The natural surroundings, fresh air, and slower pace of life encourage physical and mental well-being, which are just as important as medical access. In conclusion, both urban and rural areas offer certain
health
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 advantages.
However
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, I believe that the
countryside
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 supports a more balanced and holistic approach to
health
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, making it easier to live a genuinely healthy
lifestyle
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.

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coherence and cohesion
To enhance coherence, ensure that each paragraph clearly transitions to the next. Consider adding linking phrases to guide the reader.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments, particularly in discussing the health benefits of living in the countryside.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion and a balanced consideration of both views, which is great for task achievement.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical, with a clear introduction and conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a distinct point, which aids coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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