IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In the future, nobody wii buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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With
advancement
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the advancement
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 of technology,
people
Use synonyms
 will find everything they need at online
platforms
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 for free,
hence
Linking Words
 printed
newspapers
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 or
books
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 will be left behind. I agree with
this
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 statement since online
platforms
Use synonyms
 can provide live
news
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 and events across regions.
Moreover
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, buying printed
books
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 and
newspapers
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 will consume space and difficult to be
maintained
Wrong verb form
maintain
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.
First,
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people
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 can get updates
of
Change preposition
on
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news
Use synonyms
 or events within a second from online
platforms
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. It can provide
convenient
Add an article
a convenient
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 level for the users since the real-time information will enrich
people
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's knowledge.
For instance
Linking Words
, online
news
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 can be obtained from our
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
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 everywhere, regardless
about
Change preposition
of
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 geographical and physical barriers between the sources and the readers.
As a result
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, online
news
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platforms
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 can uplift
people
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's lore even faster which can be beneficial in their daily activities.
Additionally
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, it is quite challenging to maintain hard
version
Fix the agreement mistake
versions
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 of
books
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 and
newspapers
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.
This
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 issue happens
since
Correct word choice
because
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 printed items will have a bulky appearance and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
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a
Remove the article
apply
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large and special storage. Take my home as an example. My father used to buy printed
newspapers
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 every morning and it caused lots of the items
were
Change the verb form
to be
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stucked
Correct your spelling
tucked
stacked
stuck
 at the corner of our living room.
As a result
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, it increases the dustiness level, which
involve
Change the verb form
involves
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 daunting tasks to clean that area, and it
just
Add a missing verb
is just
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 terrible to see dozens of
newspapers
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 piled up unorganized.
To sum up
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, nowadays
people
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 will choose online
version
Fix the agreement mistake
versions
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 of
books
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 and
newspapers
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 as their primary sources of information.
Besides
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 that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online
news
Use synonyms
 can be obtained without paying,
it
Correct word choice
and it
show examples
 provides many convenient factors for the users.

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task achievement
Ensure that the essay fully addresses the prompt by discussing both the agreement and potential disagreement with the provided statement to demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the issue. Consider exploring alternative perspectives to enrich the response and showcase an ability to evaluate complex arguments.
task achievement
Work on developing clear topic sentences for each paragraph and ensuring that each idea is expanded with appropriate examples and analysis. Aim to tie the examples more closely to the main argument of the essay to enhance clarity and the persuasive impact of your points.
task achievement
Include a wider range of specific examples and details to support each point. A mixture of personal experiences, factual information, and hypothetical scenarios can enhance the relevance and depth of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a logical flow throughout the essay by connecting ideas smoothly from one paragraph to the next. Employ cohesive devices effectively and avoid repetition. This continuity will reinforce the structure of your essay and enhance the reader's understanding.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion encapsulate the main points of the essay while providing a clear thesis statement and an effective summary. Review the balance between the introduction and conclusion to ensure consistency and reinforce your argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
Each body paragraph should focus on a single main idea and be supported by detailed evidence and analysis. This ensures that the essay remains focused and that each point contributes effectively to the overall argument. Refrain from asserting opinions without substantial support.
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