In some countries owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why this might be the case? Do you think this is positive or ngative situation?

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I think it is true that
people
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tend to buy a
house
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instead
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of renting it in several countries.
This
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is because
home
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ownership is more convenient and problem-free than renting which may cause some issues with altering and budget. In my view, having our own
house
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is more beneficial in case of money and feelings. The reason why
people
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prefer to own a
home
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is that renting it leads to a large variety of troubles. First of all, if
people
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have to change their residences repeatedly, they must search a lot to find a suitable
home
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during some periods. What
this
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means is that they not only consider the amount of money paid for renting in comparison with their revenue
,
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but
also
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the new rented
home
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should be as well-equipped and spacious as the previous one. The next reason is that the rental fee is likely to increase in the future which,
consequently
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, may bother renters. So, they are likely to choose a smaller or low-facilitated
house
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if they are not able to afford the fees. Some
people
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believe that being a possessor of a
house
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is more desirable and reliable than a renter.
Although
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it is sometimes thought that we must spend a notable amount of money for tax, purchasing, and furbishing as an owner, a renter has to pay rental costs monthly for something which does not belong to them. Property ownership,
also
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, has a sense of satisfaction and confidence, because concerning looking for new places to rent,
people
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and their families are more comfortable and assured. In conclusion, the difficulty of searching for homes to rent and problems with rental fees lead
people
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to prefer owning a
home
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to renting it. In my opinion, being a
house
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owner is more satisfying and relaxing than being a
home
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renter.
Submitted by atefeh.rashidi2022 on

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task response
Your essay shows a good understanding of the task and addresses the topic well. However, there's room for improvement in developing and supporting your main points with more elaborated examples. Aim to incorporate a wider range of relevant examples that provide a more in-depth illustration of your ideas. This will boost the effectiveness of your response and demonstrate a stronger command of the subject matter.
coherence cohesion
You have structured your essay appropriately with a clear introduction and a conclusion. Nonetheless, the transitional phrases between ideas could be more varied to enhance readability. Also, ensure that your paragraphs focus on a single idea for better clarity. Work on linking your ideas more effectively to maintain a smooth flow and to ensure the reader can easily follow your argumentation.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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