Some-people say the government is wasting money on arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what-extent-do-you-agree-or-disagree?

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Some people contend that
art
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is not worth spending a huge sum of money
while
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this
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can be utilized in far better ways for other sectors. From my point of view,
this
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argument is not realistic and
this
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essay disagrees strongly with the aforementioned statement by illustrating substantial facts backed up by logical reasoning. First and foremost,
art
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has been a tool of communication for mankind for centuries. If early humans would not have taken the support of
art
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then
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, modern languages today had not developed.
For instance
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, ancient Egyptian carvings and paintings discovered a few years ago demonstrate how early people used to express their feelings, cultural values and even instructions.
In addition
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to that, a picture is worth a thousand words. A vibrant use of
colors
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colours
show examples
can sometimes communicate that cannot be explained verbally.
Secondly
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,
art
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is therapeutic, whether in the form of paintings, sculpting, photography or music. Many medical professionals have emphasized artistic engagement as it can serve to relieve pain, stress and anxiety. Music extends its effects beyond being mere entertainment.
For example
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, leading research has shown the magical effects of songs on people struggling with mental problems.
Furthermore
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, Individuals involved in
art
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were found more pleasant and confident. In conclusion,
art
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is as essential as food, it has influenced our lives in numerous ways. The impact it has created is beyond expectations. All these factors vividly point out in the direction that government spending on artwork is imperative
as well as
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worthwhile.
Submitted by M.zeshan5999 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure there is a logical flow to the argument presented. While the structure is sound, some connections between ideas could be made clearer to achieve better coherence.
coherence cohesion
Include a more varied range of cohesive devices (e.g., however, furthermore, therefore) to improve the flow of ideas and showcase advanced language use.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and well-crafted. Refining them with more sophisticated language can enhance the overall impression.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task and maintain a clear position throughout the response. The essay does well in this respect but could be even more comprehensive.
task achievement
Develop ideas more thoroughly to ensure the response is comprehensive. While the essay includes good ideas, expanding on them can add depth to the argument.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to better support your arguments and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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