IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Explain some of the ways in which humans are damaging the environment. What can governments do to address these problems? What can individual people do?

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Human beings tend to cause damage to the environment through many of their
actions
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. In
this
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 essay, I will explain the human activities that harm Mother
Nature
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 and the solutions that can be done both by governments and individual persons. In many ways, the
actions
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 of humans create trouble for our
nature
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.
Firstly
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, humans have developed several infrastructures to support their lives.
Additionally
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, the population of humankind is gradually increasing, which means their needs are rising as well.
This
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 phenomenon potentially causes some negative impacts on the environment. To illustrate
this
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 point, the requests for housing become higher through the centuries, and to deal with it, they have no other options than transforming the green lands into housing facilities. Demolishing the forests has some negative outcomes,
such
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 as the air quality becoming dangerous and the absorbance areas being reduced. It
also
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 harms the animal beings since their habitats are destroyed.
Secondly
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, the usage of technology
also
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 results in the destruction of the natural
world
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. As an example, the air conditioning systems that are commonly utilised by humans are actually releasing some substances that can cause damage to the ozone, which can increase the
overall
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world
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 temperature. In order to solve these problems, governments and policymakers should create pro-environment policies and laws that promote sustainable development. With these kinds of policies, the development and environmental needs can be balanced. As the ruling powers, the executives must give certain education to their citizens informing the current situation of our
world
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 and showing them the real
actions
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 taken by the governments.
Furthermore
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, to tackle these issues, society must be involved as well. As individuals, we can take some measures to help the recovery of Mother
Nature
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,
such
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 as planting trees and becoming more responsible creatures. In conclusion, folk play a significant role in maintaining the earth's sustainability. Even though there are some
actions
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 of the public that impact
nature
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,
such
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 as deforestation and the use of technology, there are still some ways to recover it. In
this
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 case, the policymakers should make policies that promote ecological development and as individuals, we can take some small steps to take care of our beloved
world
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.

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introduction conclusion present
While the essay provides an introduction and a conclusion, the statements could be clearer by precisely summarizing the main arguments of the essay in the introduction, and restating the thesis and main points succinctly in the conclusion. This strengthens the framework of your essay and leaves the reader with a distinct understanding of your stance on the topic.
supported main points
The main points regarding environmental damage and solutions are supported; however, they would benefit from more detailed examples and explanations. Demonstrating how these issues directly affect the environment or providing statistics could improve the clarity and depth of your argument. Develop each point further to demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the issues.
relevant specific examples
Overall, the essay addresses the topic, but there is room for improvement in specificity and expansion of ideas. Consider providing more distinct and thorough details about how governments and individuals can address environmental problems. Use concrete examples, such as specific policies governments could enact or actions individuals can take beyond generic advice, to improve your task achievement score.
logical structure
The organization of ideas is adequate, yet transitions and logical sequencing could be smoother to guide the reader more effectively through your arguments. Use a range of cohesive devices and topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs to enhance the flow of information and reinforce the logical structure of your essay. Additionally, each paragraph should be centered on a clear single main idea that is elaborated upon.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Pollution: contamination, emissions, pollutants, industrial waste
  • Deforestation: habitat loss, biodiversity, urban development, logging
  • Climate Change: greenhouse gases, global warming, fossil fuels, renewable energy
  • Overfishing: unsustainable, fish stocks, marine ecosystems, conservation
  • Waste Production: non-biodegradable, plastics, recycling, waste management systems
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