Some people think reading stories in books is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree
Nowadays, electronic devices are becoming more and more popular and individuals tend to like using them
instead
of reading Linking Words
books
. Use synonyms
However
, some people argue that reading stories in Linking Words
books
is better than spending time on television or computer, especially children. In my view, I totally support Use synonyms
this
opinion because of the following reasons.
First of all, Linking Words
books
help Use synonyms
students
increase their level of concentration ability. It is undeniable that television and video games are very attractive because they are very diverse, they contain both voice and image. Use synonyms
However
, they can easily distract the young from learning, Linking Words
thus
the young may not obtain the knowledge originally set for. Linking Words
While
Linking Words
books
not only help Use synonyms
students
receive information but they Use synonyms
also
have benefits for student's imagination. Linking Words
For example
, Harry Potter is a famous novel that has been adapted into a movie series. When you read it you will imagine the scene of the story Linking Words
instead
of accepting an image from the actor.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, children, who usually use electronic instruments, easily get eye diseases Linking Words
such
as short-sightedness because of the negative blue light from the screen. Linking Words
Whereas
, if reading Linking Words
books
in a good light condition, teenagers rarely get problems with their eyes. With modern technology, famous publishing companies always pay attention to the quality of papers and colours to ensure they do not get harmful to readers. Use synonyms
For instance
, in the past there were not many Linking Words
students
who got eye diseases, Use synonyms
in contrast
, there are lots of Linking Words
students
who get them today. Several researches demonstrate that it links to the use of computers and TV sets.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that Use synonyms
books
will bring plenty of pros for people, particularly Use synonyms
students
. Parents should encourage their children to read Use synonyms
books
Use synonyms
instead
of spending time on television or the computer.Linking Words
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coherence cohesion
While the essay includes a logical structure, transitions between some ideas were not very smooth which could make the reader struggle to follow the argument. To improve coherence, connect each paragraph more clearly to the next using a variety of transition phrases.
coherence cohesion
Main points are mostly supported, but occasionally the support is not fully developed. To enhance the effectiveness of each argument, provide more detailed examples and consider exploring less obvious consequences or implications of the points made.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and generally serve their purpose, but to reach a higher band, ensure they are both strong and compelling. The introduction should more directly address the prompt, and the conclusion should provide a more powerful summary of the points made.
task achievement
Your response to the task is complete, you've addressed all parts of the task and your position is clear. To achieve a higher band, make sure that the position taken in the introduction is consistently echoed throughout the essay with appropriate reasoning and supporting details.
task achievement
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