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Band 6.5

The table below gives information about a restaurant’s average sales in three different branches in 2016.

The table below gives information about a restaurant’s average sales in three different branches in 2016.
#information #restaurant’s #sales #three #branches
The table describes information regarding
average
Correct article usage
the average
show examples
sales
 of
restaurant
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
show examples
 in 2016 in three different
branch
Change to a plural noun
branches
show examples
.
Overall
, it is clear most favourite menu is food
that is
 produced from chicken meat.
First
Add an article
The first
show examples
branch
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is located in
Vancouver
Georgia
Street
 did transaction as many as 854
transactions
,
whereas
Vancouver
Correct article usage
the Vancouver
show examples
Dunsmuir
street
Capitalize word
Street
show examples
branch
 was
runner-up
Correct article usage
the runner-up
show examples
, and
third
Correct article usage
the third
show examples
branch
 namely
Drake
street
Capitalize word
Street
show examples
 reached
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
390 dealings.
However
,
Vancouver
Drake
street
Capitalize word
Street
show examples
 was higher than
Vancouver
Dunsmuir
Street
 in value of
transactions
 and attained
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
$9,02. If
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
branch
 is compared with
others
Fix the agreement mistake
other branches
show examples
branch
, it will be seen that
Vancouver
Georgia
 got
highest
Change the article
the highest
show examples
number
. In
Vancouver
Correct article usage
the Vancouver
show examples
Georgia
street
Capitalize word
Street
show examples
branch
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 tend to
ate
Change the verb
eat
show examples
 their food at restaurants with
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
show examples
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
show examples
 namely 405
people
. Meanwhile
Dunsmuir
street
Capitalize word
Street
show examples
branch
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
second
Add an article
the second
show examples
 highest
number
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
Eat-in
Correct article usage
the Eat-in
show examples
 mode. But
Vancouver
Drake
Street
 did not reach 300
people
 in Eat-in
transactions
.
Additionally
 for take-away mode, 449
people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 purchase
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
show examples
 at
Vancouver
Georgia
street
Capitalize word
Street
show examples
 prefer to
brings
Wrong verb form
bring
show examples
 their
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
show examples
 at home. It was similar
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
Vancouver
Dunsmuir
street
Capitalize word
Street
show examples
, calculated about 392
people
 used take-away
transactions
.
Lastly
,
Vancouver
Drake
street
Capitalize word
Street
show examples
got
Verb problem
has
show examples
lowest
Change the article
the lowest
show examples
number
 of take-away customers. In conclusion, One hand,
Vancouver
Correct article usage
the Vancouver
show examples
street
Capitalize word
Street
show examples
branch
gives
Verb problem
has
show examples
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 income
sales
 than others. On
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 hand,
Vancouver
Drake
street
Capitalize word
Street
show examples
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
 income
sales
, and it potentially needs improvements in
strategy
Add an article
the strategy
a strategy
show examples
 of
sales
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "that is".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, branch, vancouver, georgia, street, transactions, dunsmuir, drake, number, people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
▼

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