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Band 8

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#week #workers #weekend
In almost every election in democratic countries, shortening working
hours
 has always been an essential topic. From my perspective, it is totally understandable for
workers
 to appeal for more
holidays
,
while
this
 has to be confined to a certain range
otherwise
 the whole welfare of society will be undermined. For
workers
, the theories represented by Marxism criticising the exploitation of capitalism have raised their awareness of rebelling against alienation and individual freedom. Nobody wants to be the miserable worker portrayed in Modern Times who was exhausted by constant labour, but without the employer's permission, he had no choice but to continue to work by overdrawing his health. It is against
this
 kind of exploitation, there have been many protests, and strikes organised by labour unions. Seen from
this
 aspect, I support those
workers
 who appealing for more
holidays
.
Nevertheless
, what has usually been overlooked by these employees is that the welfare they are striving for is largely dependent on productivity and working
hours
, thereby when productivity has not seen essential growth, the decrease of working
hours
 can actually lower the whole standard of the society. One compelling example is Argentina, where the government blindly promised to reduce working
hours
 to woo more voters without considering actual domestic productivity.
As a result
 of
this
 recklessness, over 30% of labour resources in the country suffered from unemployment in the
last
 century, which, was a hard "holiday".
Therefore
, I do not agree with the claim that in terms of
holidays
, more is good. To summarise,
workers
 have every reason to strive for more
holidays
 as
this
 is their inherent right.
Nonetheless
, they have to be aware that excessive
holidays
 ultimately impair their own long-term welfare and thereby should know when to stop.
Submitted by hx88375757 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured, but some transitions between ideas (e.g., between paragraphs) can be smoother to enhance the flow.
task achievement
Ensure each point is directly relevant to the question by occasionally reinforcing how the example links back to your main argument.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction sets the tone well for the discussion and clearly states your position on the topic.
task achievement
You have included relevant and specific examples, like the situation in Argentina, which enhance the depth of your argument.
task achievement
I appreciate the balanced perspective you adopt by recognizing both the workers' rights and the potential economic consequences of shorter working weeks.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
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