IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Topic: Internet access helps young people and workers achieve their education and work goals more easily than before. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#topic #internet #access #people #workers #education #work #goals
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In today's technological era, the topic of the role of the
internet
 is a hot issue. Many individuals believe that accessing the
internet
 has an advantageous impact on studying and work targets.
This
 author totally agrees with
this
 statement
due to
 plenty of information and convenience. First and foremost, there is a sought-after factor of the
internet
 toward both study and job that
people
 can make use of online websites so as to look for necessary information helping them gain targets. In the recent, the newly discovered advancements in living lead to the overload of data, thereby, citizens require cultivating knowledge day by day.
Thus
, a variety of social networking plays a vital role in the transmission of details and an update on new events. Take Google as a primary example, which has been a common network platform for countries all over the world. Convenience is another positive point worth considering. It cannot be denied that many students spent much time reading books and even money buying them in the past,
whereas
, some can easily learn and search online through social media. Older
people
 are able to work from home with a range of high-tech applications
instead
 of going for ones.
For instance
, Zoom has been known as a video-conferencing app which young
people
 and workers have used during the COVID-19 pandemic but still
fulfills
Change the spelling
fulfils
show examples
 enough requirements of everyone. Taking all points into account, I tend to agree with
this
 topic which contributes sources of information and convenience to achieve their goals.
Therefore
, a key argument of my essay is that
people
 should utilize the
internet
 suitably in order to obtain success.
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task response
Your response to the task is complete and addresses the key points, but there could be more depth in your arguments. Try to expand certain ideas further to add more substance to your essay.
task response
Work on providing more specific, detailed examples to support your main points. This will help make your essay more convincing and thorough.
coherence cohesion
Further improve the logical structure of your essay by ensuring each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next. This will help improve the overall flow and coherence of your writing.
coherence cohesion
There are minor grammatical and lexical errors. Pay attention to sentence structures and word choices to improve clarity and precision.
structure
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps present your arguments effectively.
task response
Your main points are relevant to the topic and well-identified, which shows a good understanding of the prompt.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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