There are more workers to work from home and more students to study from home. This is because computer technology is more accessible and cheaper. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Several individuals adapt to
work
from
home
and the same goes for students.
This
is happening because of modern technology
that is
easily accessible and cost-effective. In my opinion,
this
is a positive development as it
save
Change the verb form
saves
show examples
a lot of time and
also
reduces other expenses. I will discuss
this
in detail in my essay below.
To begin
with, most people prefer to
work
from
home
sitting at their own pace and enjoying doing their tasks. During the pandemic during corona, all the businesses and companies were going at a loss so, at that time it was a good option to carry their
work
while
sitting at
home
as it saved their time and
also
allow continuing their
work
in that critical situation it won't stop them from earning.
Secondly
, it helps them to save some money as it mitigates the cost of transport and food. Meanwhile, people feel relaxed and tension-free after getting up early and rushing to the bus stop to catch the bus to reach their destination. At
home
they only get up and sit down at their place and start their
work
one can feel easy
while
wearing their pajama they can give their best as their whole focus is on
work
no other distractions.
On the other hand
, in the case of students, they are free to take education
while
sitting under the observation of their parents. They are much more focused on towards studies they don't feel tired their mind pick all the necessary information and they try to apply that in their
work
and boost their score on exams.
Moreover
, it helps to save the cost for schools
as well as
parents as they both spend heavy amounts on the construction of buildings and paying utility bills same goes for guardians they have to pay for the school van and their lunch and daily activities. So they can save money and children can save energy and consume
this
energy in their studies. In conclusion, I have a firm
believe
Replace the word
belief
show examples
that doing
work
and studying from
home
is a positive trend and it must be given attention as it generates good outcomes for the coming generations.
Submitted by aimenmalik2021 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, try to ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that is directly related to the essay question. Use linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument. For example, words like 'furthermore,' 'in addition,' or 'however' can help to connect ideas more smoothly.
task achievement
In the area of task achievement, you provided a complete response to the prompt, but making your ideas more comprehensive and supported with more specific examples would strengthen your essay. Including studies, statistics, or real-world examples can make your arguments more convincing.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a firm introduction which clearly states your opinion and gives an overview of what will be discussed. This is excellent for guiding the reader through your essay.
supported main points
You have effectively identified the key benefits of working and studying from home, such as saving time and reducing expenses. These points are relevant and strengthen your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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