In the future, more people will choose to go on holidays in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Discuss both views and give your advantage and disadvantages?

It is widely believed that an increasing number of
people
will prefer to remain in their own
countries
rather than visit other
countries
during the holidays for certain reasons. I uphold the view that the merits of
this
future trend will shadow its demerits
,
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since contribution to the locals will nourish their own economy.
To begin
with, as time progresses, many locals prioritize travelling to endemic tourist destinations
instead
of crossing the borders of another. As a first salient advantage, making local
holiday
travels will benefit local markets
as well as
the local economy to a great extent. Travellers will have a great chance to explore their own
countries
, relishing the captivating destinations and tasting delicious indigenous culinarians.
For instance
,
instead
of incurring huge expenses in other foreign
countries
,
people
have to spend a fraction of
this
amount to enjoy their holidays as they will not need to consider excess travel and accommodation expenses to travel around local cities. On the flip side, remaining in local
countries
may not be a feasible option for certain individuals who are facing economic hardship,
however
deserve a
holiday
trip. To illustrate, the costs associated with a local trip would be exponentially huge in comparison with the alternative
holiday
packages that are available in outside
countries
such
as Indonesia, Turkey and Egypt.
Furthermore
, in
this
case,
people
will left with no choice but to halt their
holiday
plan if they lack the financial resources required for an internal
holiday
trip. In conclusion,
although
opting to remain in a local country is a comparatively prudent and economically viable way to display support for locals,
people
in
countries
where the prices are high for an excursion might have to evaluate cheaper options in other
countries
.
Submitted by orkhanshamil on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic and provides relevant points to discuss both views, but you should strive to illustrate more specific examples to reinforce your arguments. Your essay tended to focus more heavily on the advantages, giving them greater detail than the disadvantages. Aim for a more balanced treatment of both perspectives.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, the main body paragraphs could benefit from more effective topic sentences that clearly state the main point. Make sure that the transitions between points are seamless. Including a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing techniques could enhance the flow and clarity of your argument.
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