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Writing Samples
Band 1.5

Seal, whale and dolphin population from 2006 to 2018

#whale #dolphin #population
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The chart illustrates,
population
Add an article
the population
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 of seals, whales and
dolphins
 where recorded in the Gormez Straits from 2006 to 2018.
Overall
,
dolphins
Change the noun form
dolphin
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population
 records
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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increased year by year and
whales
Fix the agreement mistake
whale populations
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population
were fluctuated
Change to the active voice
fluctuated
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 throughout the period.
Highest
Correct article usage
The highest
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population
 which were recorded was
dolphins
. From 2006, the number of
dolphins
 identified gradually increased from below 20 to above 50 in 2018. For
seals
Correct article usage
the seals
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population
 , in 2006 it was approximately 40 but suddenly went down to 20 in 2010. From 2010 onwards, it shows
Correct article usage
a gradula
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gradula
Correct your spelling
gradual
gradually
 rose in
population
. At the same time,
Correct article usage
the whales
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whales
Fix the agreement mistake
whale
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population
 fluctuated throughout the years, just at
the
Correct article usage
a
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 level above 20.
Period
Correct article usage
The period
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 of years from 2006 to 2018, the huge number of
population
 recorded was
dolphins
 in 2018 in
compared
Replace the word
comparison
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 with 2006, it went from below 20 to above 50 . The lowest
population
 recorded during the period of years was
dolphins
 at above 10 in 2006.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Your essay requires a conclusion to wrap up the main points discussed. The absence of a closing paragraph leaves the response feeling incomplete.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices to link ideas within and across sentences more effectively. This will create a smoother reading experience and a stronger overall cohesion.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task. Ensure that data comparisons and trends are clearly described, significant details are highlighted, and there is a noticeable summary of the information given in the visual data.
task achievement
Enhance the clarity of your ideas by organizing them logically and expanding on them where necessary. Avoid repetition and ensure that each point is clearly made and supported by data where applicable.
task achievement
Include more relevant examples and specific data to support your descriptions. Specific figures, comparisons, and trends are essential for a high-scoring response in task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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