In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In the present world, many elderly
people
are having longer lives year by year. Some people
say this
tendency could cause many problems, especially for the government, while
others think it could be advantageous. In my opinion, the prevalence of people
who have longer lives has considerable benefits compared to its disadvantages. This
essay will describe the advantages and the disadvantages, as well as
relevant examples.
On the one hand, having a longer age could be an example of a successful country managing its health facilities. For instance
, the population of Japanese residents who achieved their age above 60 years are increasing each year. This
is because the government have created a regulation that elderly people
should do medical checks free of charge. As a consequence
, the awareness of health conditions for old people
will improve. Furthermore
, long live people
, who have encountered many problems, could share their life experiences with younger people
. This
could enhance youngsters' confidence when they are faced with certain problems. Lastly
, people
who have aged above 100 years might help scientists scrutinize historical events on their experience.
On the other hand, the ubiquity of aged people
could slow down countries' total productivity because mostly they are already retired. Moreover
, the government is obligated to build more nursing homes to meet the necessities of elderly people
.
In conclusion, the benefits of older individuals' presence outweigh its disadvantages because it could indicate the progression of countries' outstanding medical facilities, and valuable life lessons, and help researchers to understand history thoroughly.Submitted by dewifarraprasasya on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting points. Avoid ambiguity by elaborating on each point with concrete examples and details to back up your claims.
task achievement
Develop the conclusion more thoroughly by reiterating the main points and ensuring that it effectively summarizes the advantages and disadvantages discussed in the essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on varying sentence structures to improve readability and flow. Use a range of conjunctions and discourse markers to enhance the connections between ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
Expand on given examples, making them more specific and relevant. If you draw upon personal or general knowledge, ensure you provide a complete thought that contributes to the argument. Avoid vague statements that do not add substantive information.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.