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Band 3

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where the did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #professionals #doctors #engineers #work #country #did
People
 have different perspectives about
professionals
, some of which involve doctors and engineers, where they should
work
. Some individuals think that
professionals
 should
work
 in the
country
 they were trained,
while
 others think they should be free to
work
each
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
where they
may
Verb problem
apply
show examples
wish.
This
 essay will elaborate on both sides of
this
 debate before
explain
Change the verb form
explaining
show examples
 my attitude. On the one hand,
every one
Replace the word
everyone
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 confronted with vast problems in their educational period and they
were tolerated
Wrong verb form
tolerate
show examples
 those because of becoming a doctor or an engineer to achieve their requests
such
 as better income
additionally
 more respect.
Nevertheless
Add a comma
Nevertheless,
show examples
 if they
cant
Correct your spelling
can't
show examples
 get what they want, they will be unsatisfied
this
 can lead to a dramatic decrease
performance
Change preposition
in performance
show examples
 in their career, so they tempt to think about
to
Change the verb form
working
show examples
work
 in
other
Change the wording
another country
other countries
show examples
country
.
in
Capitalize word
In
show examples
this
 case
people
 believe
in
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 they can be free to
work
 everywhere they want.
On the other hand
, some
people
 believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
professionals
 are subsidized by
national
Add an article
the national
a national
show examples
 government for their expenditure of educational duration,
thus
 they should follow their career in their
country
,
in
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
people
 of their
country
 need them and expect that, they should remain in
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
 and serve. In conclusion, in some
peoples
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 opinion , if
professionals
Change noun form
professionals'
professional's
show examples
 needs are not met, they can
work
 in another
country
 of their choice
while
others
Change noun form
others'
other's
show examples
 perspectives are like
this
 they should
in
Add a missing verb
be in
show examples
 their
country
 because they
subsidized
Add a missing verb
are subsidized
show examples
 by
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 and
people
 need them. In my attitude it is better,
leave
Fix the infinitive
to leave
show examples
 them to
work
 everywhere they wish
Submitted by sinaazimifar on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay requires a clear logical structure, including well-developed paragraphs that each contain one clear main idea, supported by relevant examples or arguments. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs should be smooth and logical.
task achievement
Make sure to present a clear position throughout your response. Each paragraph should directly relate to the prompt and clearly state how it connects to your overall argument. Relevant examples should be provided to strengthen your main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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