IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some employees want to be able to contact their staff at all times, even on holidays. Does this development have more advantages than disadvantages?

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Introduction
The main advantage of being able to contact staff enables employees to address urgent work-related issues. With
this
Linking Words
 ability, organisations can enhance customer satisfaction and competitive edge in the market.
For example
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, a company’s immediate response to a customer issue during a holiday can increase loyalty and strengthen its reputation for extra service.
As a result
Linking Words
, the customer feels valued and appreciated, building up trust towards the brand.
Body paragraph 1
On the other hand
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, one of the major disadvantages is that workers will feel overwhelmed which poses significant challenges. By way of explanation, it blurs the boundaries between work and personal life, leading to heightened stress levels, and physical and mental health.
For instance
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 the Local Democracy Reporting Service, it is found that 23% of the staff found their work emotionally exhausting.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that, continuous contact may crack the family plan , especially for working parents. People could have plans after a hard day,
nevertheless
Linking Words
, receiving texts or calls from their directors for additional work.
However
Linking Words
, if the person is busy with their family and can’t text back,
as a result
Linking Words
, the boss is disappointed and employees might even lose their jobs.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the drawbacks are of greater significance than the merits. Despite the fact that fulfilling the consumer’s needs will create a positive brand image, employees may find an unfavourable lifestyle and productivity
due to
Linking Words
 workloads.

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Task Achievement
Make sure to provide a balanced view when discussing advantages and disadvantages to fully address the question.
Coherence & Cohesion
Try to use a wider variety of linking words and phrases to enhance coherence.
Task Achievement
You've made effective use of examples to support your points, particularly the reference to the Local Democracy Reporting Service, which adds credibility to your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introductory and concluding paragraphs effectively set up and summarize your discussion, demonstrating good control over essay structure.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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