The diagram gives information about the process of making carbonated drinks.

The diagram gives information about the process of making carbonated drinks.
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The diagram illustrates the procedures
of
Change preposition
for
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making fizzy drinks.
Overall
Linking Words
, 5 stages are required to provide customers with soft drinks. Starting with
water
Use synonyms
cleaning and heating evaporation and carbohydrates, followed by mixing, filtering and filling bottles and cans.
Finally
Linking Words
, packaging and transportation procedures happen.
To begin
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with, raw
water
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is passed through a filter and becomes ready to be poured into the
water
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softener process by mixing with chemicals. In the second stage, already soft
water
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is poured into electric heater equipment
due to
Linking Words
a huge pump. Afterwards, a cooling pipe transports hot
water
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into a carbon dioxide machine, which makes
water
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with gas. In the next stage, carbohydrate
water
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is streamed into a big mixing tank where the machine puts colouring, syrup and flavour in ordinary
water
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.
Subsequently
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,the filtering and filling process takes place into bottles
as well as
Linking Words
into cans which later on were packaged by
cube shaped
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cube-shaped
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boxes.
Lastly
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, in the
last
Linking Words
stage, all boxes were transported to supermarkets with the aid of special trucks.
Submitted by alex.martirosyan201206 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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