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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In order to study at university students are required to par expensive tuition fees. Not all students can afford then so some people think that university education should be free for everyone. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#study #university #students #par #tuition #fees #people #education
Nowadays,
education
 is getting expensive and not every individual can afford
Correct pronoun usage
it by
show examples
by
Change preposition
on
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 their own.
Hence
 a debate has been sparked that university
education
 should be free to all;
however
, I partially agree with the statement and will provide its justification in upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
 with, higher
education
 is essential for
everyone
 to get a good job.
However
, there are numerous talented students who belong to poor families and cannot pay their tuition fees
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their own. So, to promote these talented
people
, the government should pay their tuition fees so that they can study and achieve huge success.
For instance
, in the recent batch of I.A.S. selection in the Indian government jobs, top positions were secured by three
people
 who got their
education
 only through the help of the N.G.O.
Therefore
, to attain top positions filled with the most talented
people
, the government should provide higher
education
 to
everyone
.
On the other hand
,
this
 trend can
also
 be misused by a few
people
 as free
education
 might not give them the responsibility to work part-time.
Moreover
, they will be irresponsible and will get into bad habits.
For example
, earlier students were working
while
 their studies to get money for
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 expenses and to pay their tuition fees but with
this
Add a comma
this,
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 they will not work and
instead
 waste their whole time.
Consequently
, they will not gain experience and responsibilities to achieve the goals
in
Change preposition
with
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 limited resources.
Hence
, free
education
 should be in terms of
scholaship
Correct your spelling
scholarship
scholarships
 or partial waiver.
To conclude
, I would like to assert that, though higher
education
 is important for every student and should be available to
everyone
 making it completely free for
everyone
 will make them irresponsible. So there should be some terms enforced.
Submitted by hiteshpaul on

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task achievement
Ensure that the introduction clearly addresses the prompt and includes a precise thesis statement outlining what the essay will cover.
task achievement
Support your main points with more detailed explanations and relevant examples to fully develop your argument.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a logical flow between sentences and paragraphs using a variety of linking phrases.
coherence cohesion
Make certain each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that sums up the paragraph's main point.
coherence cohesion
Use a conclusion that clearly summarizes the essay's main points and restates your position, creating a strong finish to the essay.
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