IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some cities create housing areas by providing taller buildings. Others create housing by building houses on a wider area of land. What solution is better?

#cities #areas #buildings #houses #area #land
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It is true that the question of whether governments should create residential areas by constructing vertical buildings or providing horizontal ones remains a source of controversy.
Although
 both solutions have their advantages, I believe that the construction of taller buildings could bring about more positive impacts. On the one hand, there are several compelling reasons why creating horizontal cities could lead to notable merits. The first reason is that the service expenditure in the accommodations is not as costly as in the vertical cities.
For example
, the security charge or elevator fees will not be included if
people
 reside in merely a double-story building. Another point is that residents who live in
such
 housing would find themselves more safer and comfortable.
This
 is because they are capable of extricating easily from emergency cases,
such
 as fire, construction collapse, and avoiding elevator accidents.
Moreover
, the roomy living spaces in horizontal centrals make a major contribution to rendering an enjoyable life that helps to release stress and strain for
people
.
On the other hand
, despite the arguments discussed above, I suppose that it is more beneficial to construct vertical buildings. One main reason is that
such
 living areas can resolve the issue of accommodation shortage
due to
 the population explosion in metropolitan
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
. An explanation for
this
 is that land on Earth will not grow any bigger
while
 the human population is ever-increasing. If tall apartments are erected and chosen as a place of residence, a unit of land can accommodate a larger number of residents. A notable benefit can be considered is that a wide range of goods and services
such
 as rental offices, shopping malls, and coffee shops are associated together in many skyscrapers in a ubiquitous way.
As a result
,
people
 can enjoy a luxurious living standard which facilitates their work and study. In conclusion, for the reasons I have mentioned above, I am of the belief that
while
 creating housing on a wider area of land has some effective impacts on the life of
people
 generally, constructing vertical apartments would be a better solution for national authorities to address many pressing issues today.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows logically to the next. Although your essay has a clear structure, some transitions between points could be smoother to enhance the overall cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Present a clear introduction and conclusion. You have done well in this aspect by introducing the topic and summarizing your arguments effectively. Continue to refine your opening and closing sentences for maximum impact.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your main points are well-supported with relevant details and examples. While you have provided reasonable support, some of your examples could be more specific to better illustrate your points and strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Ensure your response fully addresses all parts of the task. You have provided a complete response to the prompt, however, a more balanced discussion on both perspectives with clearer comparisons could enhance your task achievement.
task achievement
Strive to express your ideas clearly and comprehensively. While your overall ideas are presented well, consider refining them for greater clarity and impact, ensuring they directly respond to the prompt.
task achievement
Utilize specific, relevant examples to substantiate your arguments. You have used examples, but they could benefit from being more detailed and directly tied to the central claims of your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban density
  • sustainability
  • public transportation
  • green spaces
  • community connections
  • overcrowding
  • economic implications
  • infrastructure impact
  • maintenance costs
  • carbon footprint
  • compact city
  • habitat destruction
  • greenhouse gas emissions
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