Some people think we should do more to prevent crimes, while others believe that we can do little for this problem. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

When it comes to crime prevention, some people claim that more efforts should be made to prevent criminal behaviours,

while

others think it is hard to avoid

such

problems. The following paragraphs are going to show the reasons respectively and illustrate my opinion. On one hand, there are several useful ways to prevent crime.

To begin

with, it is meaningful and necessary to make practical and strict policies and laws as these actions play roles of caution. Those who have done something against the rules ought to receive severe punishment and at the same time , the evilly intended people may be afraid of the punishment and give up the wrong thoughts.

In addition

, setting up

complete

Correct article usage

a complete

show examples

mental care system can

also

make sense.

For example

, part of teenagers with violent inclinations may be affected by the bad environment around them or suffer from inhumane treatment. In these cases, it is obviously proper to offer psychological therapy for early prevention, compared to measures taken after illegal actions.

On the other hand

, there are situations in which criminal behaviour is difficult to intervene.

First,

some are born with crime genes.

For instance

, they may have hypermale syndrome and the gene drives them to have serious violent inclination without control. It is meaningless to use mental treatment to avoid their sinful thoughts and actions because they are destined to follow

this

path.

Moreover

, there are still a large number of residents living in economically hard areas with problems of survival. They have no choice but to do burglary. It is universally known that economic development needs to take a long time to improve, and

this

inevitable and regrettable situation will continue for an unpredictable period. In my opinion, it can’t be denied that we have to face various difficult problems

such

as gene defects and poverty on our way to avoid illegal behaviour,

however

, there are always ways to do more prevention and mitigate

this

bad situation. The government is supposed to provide better and better social care. It does help to ease poor residents’ survival pressure, so it is unnecessary for them to steal goods from others. And for those criminals who are out of control, related departments should pay more attention and keep a lookout for them.

This

will prevent

further

damage in time and make them serve a prison sentence.

Submitted by 281861734 on Mon Dec 25 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure a clear logical progression in your essay by having distinct transitions between points. Expand upon your ideas in a more connected way to improve logical flow.

coherence cohesion

Introduction and conclusion are present, which is good, but ensure they are well-rounded and fully encapsulate the essence of the essay for a higher score.

coherence cohesion

Support your main points with more detailed examples and better-developed explanations to enhance clarity and depth in your essay.

task achievement

You have responded to the task properly by discussing both views and giving your own opinion. For an even higher score, make sure your opinion is well-integrated throughout the essay rather than tacked on at the end.

task achievement

Present your ideas more clearly and comprehensively by exploring each one more deeply. This can be done through detailed analysis and further discussion.

task achievement

Incorporate more relevant and specific examples to support your points. They should be clear, relevant to the argument, and embedded smoothly within the context of your discussions.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

391 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think we should do more to prevent crimes, while others believe that we can do little for this problem. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Due to the effect of globalization, the culture of some countries are influenced by others. Some people think this is a natural process. Others think this is a threat to cultural identity. What is your opinion about this?

Many museums charged for the admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museum outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think the manufacturers and shopping malls should sell fewer packaged products while others argue that people have the responsibility to buy products with less packaging.

In many countries, the level of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes?

Some people think that only the best students should be rewarded. Others, however, think that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your opinion.