The best way to reduce poverty in developing countries is by giving up to six years of free education, so that they can at least read, write and use numbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is believed that one of the best solutions in order to develop a country is free
education
for six
years
. Through
this
, they can do basic things like counting numbers, writing, and reading. I strongly disagree with
this
notion and
this
essay will discuss the reasons.
Although
providing free
education
for up to 6 six
years
can tackle some problems,
such
as index human development, it cannot reduce
poverty
in a significant ratio. Indeed, reading and writing are essential,
however
, those
skills
need to be developed alongside some
skills
. Indonesia,
for instance
, has the third largest population in the world and
a
Add a missing verb
is a
show examples
developing country which has a problem with
poverty
.
This
country applies regulations that people have to be in formal
education
at least for 12
years
.
Nonetheless
, the number of
poverty
does not fall down.
Furthermore
, in
this
4.0 industrial generation, the core criteria that many manufacturers looking for is
skills
. They found a person who has magnificent
skills
,
such
as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
adaptability, analyzing big data, metadata, accounting, or planning; which means their criteria are not only reading, writing, and counting numbers.
To sum up
, it can be seen that providing free
education
for just only 6
years
is not the best solution to reduce
poverty
. Indeed, the number of people who cannot read will decrease, but it is not enough to reduce
poverty
. The best solution for every nation to reduce
this
problem is improving their
skills
that are contextual in
this
era. Because, practising some
skills
, will elevate their basic abilities.
Submitted by writingbersama on

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task achievement
Ensure each main point is supported with relevant examples. For example, while you mention Indonesia's education system, further specific data or evidence about its impact would strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Work on developing clear and comprehensive ideas. For instance, elaborate more on the connection between industrial skills and poverty reduction.
coherence cohesion
Ensure logical transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow. Sometimes, the transition from one idea to another may seem abrupt.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively summarize the main arguments.
task achievement
You provide a counterargument and clarify your stance, which demonstrates critical thinking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • poverty alleviation
  • functional literacy
  • numeracy skills
  • educational opportunity
  • employment prospects
  • critical thinking
  • empowerment
  • inequality reduction
  • sustainable development
  • innovation
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