Some experts believe that when a country is already rich, any additional increase in economic wealth does not make its citizens any more satisfied. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In contemporary society, some people think that wealth is the main factor which makes it possible for individuals' well-being, but others argue budget in the countries, the more there is comfortable living because the budget is a foundation of development.
this
idea. Linking Words
Therefore
, Linking Words
although
some nations are already rich and bring about the addition of economic wealth which increases, citizens in the countries do not feel more satisfied. Linking Words
This
essay will discuss both sides of the controversy, and my opinion will be provided.
On the one hand, advocates of Linking Words
this
perspective believe that even if arises stable finance in nations that are already rich, it does not help the population in Linking Words
this
country be more pleased. Linking Words
It is clear that
economics is not a major determiner that allows people to pleasure in living. Linking Words
In other words
, some regions may lack a variety of conveniences Linking Words
such
as amusements, transport, and other facilities.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, those against the idea of people in the rich countries feel that are not satisfied, despite additional increases in finance. The reason is that the more there isLinking Words
Add an article
a
the
Furthermore
, the government will spend Linking Words
this
fund on the generation of places which satisfy individuals, and they can provide a lot of supplies Linking Words
such
as food and materials. Linking Words
As a result
, the high-income regions can bring about benefits for citizens.
In conclusion, some researchers believe that wealthy nations do not cause the population to feel more comfortable. In my view, I strongly disagree with Linking Words
this
issue because money is a basic part of life.Linking Words
Submitted by champperkhu on
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Coherence & Cohesion
You should make sure your essay has a clear logical progression. Your main points should be organized in a manner that each one flows naturally to the next, ensuring coherence throughout your essay. Additionally, make use of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more clearly.
Coherence & Cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present which is good, yet, they could be more engaging and better encapsulate your main arguments. An effective strategy is to paraphrase the question in your introduction, and reiterate your stance and summarize the main points in your conclusion.
Coherence & Cohesion
While your essay attempts to support the main points with arguments, you should strive to enhance their development. Each paragraph dedicated to a main point should include a clear topic sentence, followed by evidence or examples that are both relevant and convincing to strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
Ensure that your essay addresses all parts of the task. Your response must fully answer the question, displaying a clear position throughout your essay, and providing a conclusion that summarizes your opinions adequately.
Task Achievement
Your ideas are understandable, but they could be expressed more comprehensively. Aim to develop your arguments and ideas fully in each paragraph. It is crucial to expand on your key points by explaining how and why they relate to the question.
Task Achievement